


Encyclopedia of Perversions

by antarshakes



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Asylum, Blasphemy, Dubious Consent, How Do I Tag, Inmate!Jared, Jared belongs in an asylum tbh, Jared/Jeff, Jared/the universe, Jealousy, Kinky, Loss of Virginity, Lots of Sex, M/M, Marquis de Sade - Freeform, Mild Gore, Movie AU, NC:17, Oral Sex, Possessive Behavior, Priest!AU, Priest!Jensen, Quills!Au, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Content, Spanking, alternative universe, elements of abusive relationship, extremely confused jensen, like really, like seriously nc:17, possesive Jared, priest!Jeff, sick love story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 05:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antarshakes/pseuds/antarshakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Quills!AU) Young Jared was sent to the Queensgarden Asylum for his perverted books: wicked tales of the sin of the flesh, sodomy and tales of the most sordid forms of coupling. Abbé Jensen thinks Jared is merely misunderstood, but underestimates the effects of Jared’s work and Jared himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue + Chapter Un

**Author's Note:**

> Was playing around a Quills!AU idea for a while, when this little prompt in the blindfold_kinkmeme thread caught my eye. Prompt: sex-slave Jensen, or Religious-AU (maybe like the movie Quills?), and a hot, stroppy, Dom Jared. Bonus if Jensen has to ride Jared.  
> The tone, time and setting of the story are the same as they are in the movie (typical Old-English phrasings with a Brittish accent while it’s set in old 18/19th century France.) Note the; abbé Jensen parts (thought that was kinda funny.)  
> (originally posted September 22nd 2009)
> 
> *2015: I've tried to clean this story up a bit an add to the warning tags. I am so sorry to anyone if there were any triggers in this story that I had not warned for.

__

_***_

_Prologue_

*******

_“Dear reader,_

_This is the tale of a young, devilishly handsome and often misunderstood man. Jared, as he was known by friends and many lovers, was only nineteen of age when he published his first book by the nom de plume; Padalecki._

_Jared’s first book contained instructions of the ways of making love: albeit male on male, one male/several females or several females and several males._

_Books on the art of pleasure were not scarce in those day and time, nay, this was not the reason young Jared was noticed. Young Jared had a way with words and a way with his characters often in a position related to the church. Young Jared loved to write about blushing nuns losing their virginity, often not by choice and in the most creative manner._

_Jared’s second book was a bundle of wicked tales concerning a deeply religious man with a hunger for his fellow men he did not know how to fulfill or resist. The hunger turned brutal, as he would cut his lovers as foreplay, lap at their fluids as they would fornicate, ending with the man collecting several young men, keeping them imprisoned in his house for his own pleasurable use._

_Young Jared’s mind was not a happy place to recreate, nay._

_The identity of Padalecki was soon unraveled after his third publishing, having shared his bed with a married man and caught by the man’s jilted wife.  
As it was stated before: young Jared was a deeply misunderstood man._

_In an elaborate and creative manner Jared’s parents found a way to “fix” young Jared.  
At the Queensgarden Asylum Jared would learn to turn his wicked ways and find his way to God._

_Young Jared had little care in the world, his only concern being his ability to write the stories in his head down on paper, to let his evil characters live out their horrors, so that the evil would not extend its way into Jared’s own world. Not the terribly evil kind, that is._

_His fellow “inmates” would steer clear from Jared, the one with the mischievous gleam in his eyes. They’d often call him a minion of the devil, the embodiment of the Anti-Christ. Young Jared would take delight in tantalizing and provoking the prude: reciting passages from his books aloud during dinner and recreational time, but mostly he would take pleasure in whispering dirty words and deeds during mass. It was how Jared spent his days._

_His chambers were often visited by the maids or footmen at night, sometimes together or in a party of three or more. Most of them never returned to him after spending the night.  
The ones with their own demons, always did._

_Young Jared was content with his situation as he kept writing his fourth and fifth book, secretly publishing them to the masses. Padalecki’s fame thus remained intact and his books grew in demand the more they were condemned._

_It was the sixth book that kept tormenting young Jared. The curious maidens could not please him, nor could any of the men.  
Jared was bored and ‘Padalecki’ was stuck in a rut._

_Padalecki’s sixth and final published book tells us the tale of a young abbé: a young man with angelic features and an even more beautiful heart and his greatest and sweetest downfall.”_

_***_

**Chapter One**

_***_

“How are you today Jared? Still writing?” Jensen is in Jared’s private chamber again. He makes it a point to visit Jared regularly, at least twice a day.

Jensen believes that by letting Jared write out the evil things that play out in his head, without consequences, Jared can cure from his actual problem.  
He doesn’t actually believe Jared’s tales are the problem: he’s brilliant in a way many aren’t. His tales have a strong twisted view of mankind, yes, but often accurate. He writes of the evil of mankind itself, the sins they inflict. Jensen thinks Jared can be saved from his other problem as well; lust, his incessant need of fornicating without preference and not to mention, sodomy.         

Jared is good company however, one of the few who are close to Jensen’s age and coherent enough to follow conversation.

Jared snorts as he rips out a page, bawls it up and throws it on the ground next to his bed.

“It’s not working out for you ?”

Jared scoffs and motions for Jensen to approach him.

  
“Read this for me please and see what’s wrong with it.”

As Jensen tries to decipher Jared’s hurried and slightly maniacal handwriting, he can already feel his cheeks burning and tiny tingles buzzing through his skin. Jared’s stories usually have this effect on him.

“You like it?” Jared breathes close to his ear, sending a soft shudder through him. Jared’s hand trails softly up and down the side of his leg and Jensen tries to keep level headed. It’s not Jared’s fault really, he has a problem.

“You use the word nipple too often. Try to revise that,” Jensen answers with an easy smile and walks towards the door. “I can look it over again tomorrow if you’d like. Good night for now, Jared.”

Jared splays his legs open and scratches at the skin visible above his night shirt.  
“ ‘night, abbé.”

Even though there was nothing wrong with the words or the tone, Jensen feels mocked.

At night he dreams of Jared’s book. The characters of his insidious book taken form and acting out the most sordid, disgusting actions.  
Jensen wakes up to damp pantaloons and damp sheets. He did not sleep well.

By now, Jensen has actually come to terms with his dreams in relation to Jared’s writing. From the first night he had met Jared, three weeks ago to the day, he’s been having rather expressive, erotic dreams. They had explained the nightly torments to him during his training. It was perfectly normal for a young viral male to experience such things in his dreams, no shame in that. What Jensen wonders though is if it is normal to still have them every night at his age.

Jensen accepts human nature, accepts that he’s only male and these things affect him. He doesn’t ponder or worry or feel the need to confess. He does however spend several minutes praying for love from his Father, for Jared and all the inmates inside the asylum.

***

“Sleep well, abbé?” Jared asks with a smirk in place. Again, he asks a perfectly innocent question, but Jensen can’t shake the feeling that somehow, Jared knows.

“Yes, quite alright, Jared. Did you sleep well?”

Jared stands up from his desk and drops himself ungracefully on his bed, not unlike a child.

“No, I spent the entire night working on the rest of my story,” he says, bottom lip stuck out in a pout. “I’d like for you to read it for me if it’s possible. But not now though. For now, I’d like us to spend our time chatting.” With a wink he adds, ”you can take it to your room tonight and read it then. You shall return it to me tomorrow.”

At Jensen’s nod, Jared sits up straight in his bed, expression serious.

“I would like to confess, abbé.”

Jensen rights himself, back straight, telegraphing his sole focus on Jared. He can feel some kind of breakthrough making itself known: Jared never confesses.

“Of course Jared, whatever it is.”

Jared inches closer, sitting at the edge of his bed.  
“See abbé, I’ve been having lustful thoughts again.”

Jensen notices the direction the confession is taking along with the heat radiating from Jared’s form.  
“And have you acted on these lustful thoughts?”

“No,” Jared answers simply. He seems even closer now.

“No? What’s keeping you from acting out then? Do you feel it’s wrong to act on them?”

The corner of Jared’s mouth curls up a little at that.  
“No, far from it, dear abbé. For I’ve come to learn that the wait will result in a far greater pleasure than it would if I were to partake in it now.”  
  
Jensen hadn’t even registered Jared leaving the bed and he’s suddenly leaning against his desk, near where Jensen’s sitting.  
“Like this instance,” he continues in a honeyed voice, “would it gratify me now if I were to take a hand to myself at the moment? Most definitely, yes. But, won’t the pleasure be above and beyond if I’d postpone it to later in the evening. Perhaps even after your departure?”   
Jared’s hand is trailing up and down his own thigh, eyes intensely fixed upon Jensen.   
“Wouldn’t you agree?”

Jensen has to swallow away his dry throat as he tries to keep from responding in anger or disgust for this is not quite a confession. He finds it easy to do so.  
“You’re right, Jared. The ability to distance ourselves from instant gratification is what separates us from animals after all.”

Jared slumps against the wall with a sigh. “I guess you’re right.”

He fixes his gaze upon Jensen again with a smirk. “Now if you don’t mind abbé, I think I’ve postponed my own gratification for far too long.”

Jensen smiles indulgently and makes his exit as Jared already starts loosening his shirt.

At night Jensen’s dreams start out the way they always start out since he’s started working at the Queensgarden Asylum and thus the inevitable meeting of Jared.

Jared’s repulsive characters start out their vile actions, taking their own course in Jensen’s dream world. This time though, Jared’s characters have taken the form of Jared himself, seductive in his own chambers, his hand trailing down his pantaloons, gripping his own flesh. Jared groans and moans and it sounds like it is right next to Jensen, as if Jensen spying on him and Jared knows he’s there. Jared’s hips start stuttering as he spills his seed in his own hand, coming down from his bliss as he brings his hand to his mouth, lapping at his fingers as he looks Jensen straight in the eye.

When Jensen awakes, he’s lying on his stomach, hard, slowly rutting against the mattress. He stops his actions immediately when he’s back to full consciousness. He turns on his back, muttering his morning prayers, thinking of all the inmates, their names, families and prior profession as he waits for his erection to wilt.

***

“How are you this evening, abbé?” Jared asks. “You didn’t visit me this morning. Were you not feeling well?”

It’s as if Jared can tell exactly what Jensen had gone through in the morning. He writes it up to his own sense of paranoia.

“I’m sorry, Jared. I was otherwise engaged. I’ve also seemed to have forgotten to take your writing with me. I can read through it for you now, if you’d prefer?”

Jared regards him for a few moments, then smirks. “I think it would pleasure me a great deal if you would do so indeed.”

Jensen sits down at Jared’s desk, taking in the various pens laying about, bunched up papers and things of the like, trying not to pay head to Jared’s special speech of double entendres.

“Is this the one I should be reading?” Jensen asks as he grabs a bunch of ink stained papers, written full towards every corner.

Jared nods, leaning his hip against the desk as he keeps his eye on Jensen.

“Care to give me a quick summary before I start? Any warnings?”

Jared huffs a laugh at that. “I think you’ll catch on quite quickly. Best get started wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes, certainly.” Jensen smiles up at Jared before ducking his head and starting his reading.

“Oh, see; you forgot a comma here. You mind me correcting right away?”

Jared grins in reply. “Of course not, abbé. It’s merely a draft, after all. Not even finished to be honest.”

Jensen smiles at him and it’s not long before he’s engrossed in the tale.

“ _Young Thomas, was as tall as he was beautiful some would say, and my, was it a great deal. This strapping young fellow had everything at his disposal when growing up, but he had his heart set on the church. To great disappointment to all eligible women in his vicinity, young Thomas was set out to become an abbé like his good friend Michael, who had attended the year before him._

_Rose-cheeked Thomas, with his innocent blue eyes and raven black hair, was anything but an innocent young man as his first and foremost reason seemed to be exactly this; being with his good friend Michael in every sense of the word._

_Michael, with pressure from his own family legacy were to become an abbé, sent in to training at the tender age of not yet sixteen. It was at this age he had begun discovering his love for men, one man to be specific.”_

So far, the details of Jared’s story seemed familiar; homosexual lovers, the church. Jensen feared what might follow next.

_“ ‘Holy father.’ cried Michael. ‘I am in love, I couldn’t possibly do this to my own lover.’  
‘What is this you speak of?’ an elderly abbé asked. ‘You are far too young to know what love is. Let us show you the ways of real love. The one that only another man can give.’_

_With that, the elderly abbé rubbed the blessed balm against Michael’s twitching orifice, before rubbing the balm on his own wrinkled flesh and driving it into the crying boy’s entrails.”_

Jensen felt sick at the lack of disgust he was feeling for what he was reading. He was far more interested at how Michael would come out of this.

Jared’s presence wasn’t helping him at all; he seemed to have inched closer, reading along with what Jensen was reading.

_“ ‘Thomas!’ Michael exclaimed, hugging his estranged lover. He pulled Thomas along with him behind the shed, kissing him furiously. ‘I have so much to show you,’ Michael breathed harshly. ‘So much to teach you.’ “_

Jensen felt moved by the young boys’ love for each other, compelled to keep reading. Knowing Jared though, the story would take a turn quickly for the worse. He shouldn’t accept reading through his stories anymore. He should distance himself like the elder abbé had taught him.

_“ Thomas cried out in delight as Michael entered him with his fingers. Thomas had missed this so much. ‘Did you miss me Tommy?’ Michael asked and Thomas nodded working himself backwards on Michael’s fingers. ‘Good.’_

_Michael removed his fingers to replace it with his own erection, breaching the first muscle and driving through in one thrust as the door opened, revealing the three elderly abbé’s._

_‘Michael, stop!’ Thomas tried, but Michael stroked his hair, telling him it’s alright, to close his eyes and enjoy everything._

_Thomas tried to block out the view of the abbé’s by closing his eyes, but to no avail. They were standing around them, watching them with wolfish looks, rubbing themselves through their robes.  
Thomas tried not to think about the meaning of it all, about his own future and that of Michael’s. About what it meant to have these men of faith standing around, stripping themselves to the view of the young boys’ lovemaking._

_Thomas held back his moans as Michael snapped his hips faster, gripping Thomas’ own erection and jerking until Thomas could feel himself coming apart, spilling his seed over Michael’s hand as Michael’s seed spread inside him._

_As he came to again, he could feel the hungry eyes on them as the abbé’s lined up, wanting to have a go as well.”_

“Had enough yet abbé? There’s more to come as that part is not finished yet. However, I don’t believe I’ll require your assistance on that one.”

“That’s quite alright Jared,” Jensen replies, his throat is parched again and his continuous swallowing is not helping. “Do you mind if I get back to my other chores. There wasn’t a lot to correct as I skimmed through it.”

“Skimmed through it, eh? Straight to the dodgy parts?” Jared’s teeth glimmered in the dim light, his trademark grin in place.

Jensen forced himself to keep the pleasant smile in place as he made his way towards the door, only to be crowded by Jared’s body as he tried to slip away.

“Did you not enjoy the lover’s tale, abbé?” Jared breathed and Jensen could feel Jared’s erection against his hip.

He pulled away suddenly as their eyes met. “I guess it’s not a tale for all to like, is it?”

Feeling all the blood rush to his face, Jensen replied with a hasty, “perhaps not, Jared. Good night.”

“Sleep well, abbé.”


	2. Deux

***

**Chapter Two**

***

The story of the two small boys followed Jensen all throughout his nightly rounds, bidding every patient in the asylum goodnight and helping them with their prayers.

As a religious man, Jensen found himself among the liberal ones. Too liberal some would say. It was Jensen’s own persona and life philosophy to live and let live as God intended to. His wish was to spread the love amongst his fellow man. The young boy’s love, which should feel vile to him, especially the way Jared and the elder abbé’s seemed to exploit them, but it doesn’t. The more Jensen reads Jared’s, nay, Padalecki’s work, he feels himself lost in them to the point of fascination. He doesn’t read them to be aroused like many do, but he can’t deny the influence of Padalecki’s words any longer. Waking up with an erection for weeks straight is bound to try any man’s strong will. Jensen doesn’t worry though. He is a liberal.

As he lays in bed he envisions the two young boys, finding out about their love the way young adolescents do: fumbling around each other, tongue-tied and loving gazes. He pictures Thomas’ face the way Padalecki had him described; raven black hair, soft blue eyes and rose stained cheeks. Jensen’s imagination adds a square jaw and a plush wide mouth, giving him a sweet yet manly face. Inevitably, he imagines Michael embracing Thomas from behind. Michael has soft brown hair, small blue eyes that gleam mischievously as he whispers sweet nothings into Thomas’ ears. Thomas closes his eyes in delight as Michael’s hands wander up and down his body.

Jensen vaguely registers his own hands traveling up and down his stomach. He’s in a stage where he’s almost asleep and entering his dream world. He can’t seems to stop his actions or  himself.

Michael’s hands travel lower, loosening Thomas’ pants, fingers delving inside, grazing his flesh. A jolt goes through Jensen at the feel of it on his own flesh. It’s then that he snaps from his haze and realizes he’s been idly touching himself.

Jensen knows he’s gone too far now. He spends the night reading his scriptures, banning all thoughts of a sweet pink mouth and laughing eyes, until he falls asleep near dawn, only to be awoken by the church bells to lead the day’s mass.

***

It’s Sunday today. Everybody knows that Jensen will be spending the entire afternoon receiving people who are willing to confess or just to chat with him. He has the entire evening off on Sunday.

He doesn’t see Jared during mass, which is not a surprise as Jared usually refuses to join them. Today it’s a relief for Jensen not to see him, he feels as if Jared would see right through him: see the sway of his words on Jensen.

Jensen smells and feels Jared’s presence before the talking starts in the confession booth.

“Forgive me abbé, for I have sinned.” There’s a mocking tone to Jared’s words, but Jensen lets it go on.

“Hello, my child. What’s on your mind today,” Jensen continues, for Jared is no different from any other.

“I keep having these lustful thoughts, abbé.”

“And what are the nature of your thoughts, child?”

“See abbé, this particular person is one I encounter every day. This person has the sweetest disposition I have ever stumbled upon in my sordid life. Abbé, I feel the deep need to soil this person so deeply upon no recovery.”

Jensen swallows and wonders what the different emotions and thoughts flittering through him are trying to tell him.

“Why do you feel this need?”

“He’s too clean, abbé. In order for him to enjoy life thoroughly, he has to be vile. I am compelled to be the person to show him this wonderful perverse world: a world where the Sin of Onan is man’s greatest outlet. That to be licked and bitten like an animal makes you feel more human than anything else ever could. Show him the ways of love that no woman could ever give him.”

Him. Jared said him.

“Does that make me an awful person, Jensen?” Jared asks innocently, as if he did not just outright confess to lustful thoughts..

“Certainly not, Jared. You know I don’t judge. Neither does God in that matter.”

Jensen takes a deep breath as nothing but silence comes from the other room. He can still feel Jared’s presence though.

“Is this person aware of your intentions?” He asks then.

Jared lets out a harsh laugh. “Is he aware? Perhaps. I don’t think he realizes it yet.”

Jared’s breath hits the side of Jensen’s face, warming him all over. He’s at loss for words.

“Forgive me abbé, for I have another problem.”

Jensen swallows harshly as he answers, “what is it, Jared?”

“I seem to be having a rather stiff problem while confessing. Does _that_ make me a bad person?”

Jensen clears his throat. “That’s quite enough time for today Jared. Give the other inmates a go, yes?”

“No advice for me on my big problem, abbé?” Jared continues to tease.  
“Well I suppose I have to solve it all by myself again now won’t I?”

With a loud chuckle, he leaves Jensen sitting in his own booth, a tingly feeling traveling through his limbs. Jared’s smell lingers a far while longer.

***

The tingly feeling rests with Jensen throughout the day. His eyes feel tired and his movements become slower as he drags through his own free evening with some idle reading through his favorite passages in the Bible.

He keeps reading far too long, but he’s afraid of what wicked dreams will filter through once he’s fallen asleep. He doesn’t want to deal with the aftermath of those dreams. He’s far too embarrassed as it is, having the maids clean his bed nearly every day. He can’t risk crossing his own boundaries either.

With those thoughts Jensen falls into a fitful sleep, dreaming again of Michael and Thomas.

_Mike, kissing down Tommy’s bare back, pulling his trousers down as his fingers skim the bared flesh. Their erections, bobbing freely as they grapple at each other as if they’re the only two people in the world. Then: Mike pushing into Tommy, hips snapping faster, fingers gripping into flesh, moaning, groaning._

_The bodies are older now, bigger, muscled and hairier.  
Broad hands are resting on stark white flesh. The hands roam higher, gripping hair, pulling the face up. Jensen own face is looking up at his lover; long, dark brown hair is hanging in dirty strands as the face lowers itself, seeking out Jensen’s mouth._

Jensen awakes with his own hand in his night shorts, fervently stripping his own cock. It takes all his will and love for God to stop himself, to remove his hand and not to continue.

Jensen stays awake for the remainder of the night, reading the scriptures again until it’s time for him to get up and start his day at dawn.

He’s dizzy when he stands up, but he ignores it, blaming it on being famished. He does his rounds quickly that morning, saying a quick hello and an “I’ll be back to visit before dinner,” to Jared.

***

It’s not until he’s standing in Jared’s chambers that he realizes how hot he’s feeling. His clothes cling to him and it’s obnoxiously warm. He denies the thought that it’s Jared’s presence and his own guilty feelings concerning his latest thoughts.

“Abbé?” Jared voice breaks through. “Not feeling up to some objectionable reading today, I fear?”

Jensen tries to smile, but fails. “It’s alright Jared, I just have to sit for a moment I think.”  
Before he can find a surface to sit on; Jared has gathered his fainting form and leads him to his bed.

Jensen wants to say something about propriety, but can’t muster the energy to do so as he falls into a feverish sleep.

Soon the dreams return.   
It’s Jared and him immediately. They’re lying in Jared’s bed, fully clothed still. Jared is plastered to his back, slowly rutting against him from behind as he holds Jensen.

Jensen moans softly at the feel of it, welcoming it in his fever, backing up against the body behind him. He hears Jared moan and turns to him, wanting to see his face wearing a blissful expression. Jared’s eyes are dark and wide-blown as he dives for Jensen’s lips. Even in his feverish dream, Jensen knows this has to stop, but the various sensations are too good, too nice to consider them evil and wicked. Jared licks into his mouth, slides his slick tongue along Jensen’s, curling and touching the tips together and it is sheer bliss. Jared ruts faster against him, hand roaming restlessly across Jensen’s body, finally shoving Jensen’s robe up and gripping his stiff cock.

Jensen moans, for once letting himself have this pleasure, even if it’s only a dream.

Jared touches him in a way he hasn’t even touched himself: exploring him in ways he should never get to experience and it all feels too good, too real.   
His thumb rubs over Jensen’s slit, hand moving up and down Jensen’s cock, tugging at it, wringing just a tinge painfully and Jensen is spilling, spilling what feels like everything. Spilling what he had so steadfastly held on to, and it’s heaven. Jensen is compelled to enjoy every bit of this subconscious experience, never having been given the chance to, not even the feeling of love from his parents or his Father. He can’t believe he has been denied _feeling_.

Jensen sighs happily as he comes down from his high, feeling Jared still rutting against him from behind, biting at his ear, keeping the flesh between his teeth.

***

Jensen awakes to the sound of noises. People are calling his name, asking him if he’s alright. His body is warm and sated and he blinks blearily around him. He’s inside Jared’s chambers, lying in his bed. The physician and one of the guards are staring worriedly at him, waiting for him to answer them.

Jared is standing at his desk, arms folded and his leg crossed over the other one. He’s wearing a devilish grin.

“I’m alright thank you. Just feeling a bit under the weather, that’s all.” He smiles reassuringly at the others, but keeps his eyes on Jared.

It’s not until he wants to stand up that he feels a wet spot rubbing against him through his cloth. He looks down and blushes, happy that he’s wearing black. When he looks up again, Jared’s staring at him with a knowing smirk.   
When Jensen leaves, he thinks he saw a stain on Jared’s pants, and he feels sick for different reasons.

Back in his chambers, there’s a hot bath waiting for him. He sighs, thanking whoever prepared this for him as he removes his filthy clothes, dropping them carelessly around before stepping in the scalding water.

It feels wonderful for his sore aching body and he sinks into it with a sigh.  
He tries not to spend extra attention as he cleans his nether regions. Especially now, it seems like an arduous task cleaning himself and Jensen feels foolish.

However, he cleans himself thoroughly, front to back, not paying attention to the way his muscles jump when he grazes his orifice. Jensen lies back down, relaxing, enjoying the few moments of actual peace he had today only to be soon drifting off to another feverish dream.

In his dream Jensen is interrupted in his private chambers, still washing himself. Jared enters, well, saunters inside as if he owns the very ground he walks on.

 _“Let me help you,”_ his honey dripped voice carries over.

Jensen lifts his hand out of the water, washing his upper arm. “That’s alright Jared. I don’t need any.”

Jared steps closer to the tub. _“I don’t think you’re quite up to the task yet yourself, abbé.”_

With that, he sinks to his knees next to Jensen, rolling his sleeve up and slowly sinking his hand down in the water, gripping Jensen’s rapidly growing cock.

_“Like that, abbé? Jensen?”_

Jensen moans as he turns his face towards Jared’s voice, seeking out his lips. Jared complies immediately, capturing his mouth in an exhilarating kiss.  
Jared’s hand moves and brings Jensen’s own hand towards his cock, letting Jensen take care of himself, but he doesn’t leave him. Instead, Jared slides his hand lower, parting Jensen’s legs, dipping his fingers lower, breaching Jensen with the tip of his finger.

Jensen shocks awake in the tub, tearing his hand away from where it had been playing with his own body. The water is freezing cold, but Jensen doesn’t feel it.

***

“Good morning abbé. You look clean today.”

“Thank you Jared. My visit is going to be short today I fear. Lots of errands to run, so forth.”  
Jensen wasn’t really lying. He did have a lot of chores and errands, but he always has those. Jared seems to know it too, but he refrains from mentioning anything.

“It breaks my heart, abbé. I was looking forward to your visit. I feel a consolation of some sort is in order,” Jared smirks.

Jensen smiles back, unable to stop himself. “Whatever it is Jared. I will do my best to console you.”

Jared’s smirk turns dirty somehow, leering at Jensen, before he breaks it off with a grin.

“Yes, well. I would love for you to proof read my newest story, if you’d please.”

“Of course. I shall tend to it this evening.”

“Delightful, abbé. I’m sure this one will please you far better than little Michael and Thomas.”

Jensen can feel himself getting flustered. “Yes, well, they were lovely characters, Jared.”

Jared grabs a few papers from his desk and hands them over to Jensen, but holding them close to his own body so that Jensen has to reach for them by stepping closer to Jared.

When Jensen has a grip on the papers, Jared doesn’t let go immediately, he holds on to it, staring at Jensen before sniffing the air.

“Good God, abbé. Is there a new soap you’re using? New detergent?”  
He steps forward and sniffs Jensen’s neck, nose brushing against his ear.  
“You smell like angels,” Jared rumbles in his ear.

Jensen tugs a little forcefully on the papers, definitely flustered now. Jared lets go and steps back, trademark smirk in place again.

“Well, no. Just the usual Jared, like everybody else,” Jensen answers as he folds the papers and places them in his pocket. “I will see to this tonight. Goodbye, Jared.”

“Enjoy yourself, abbé.” Jared calls after him.


	3. Trois

***

**Chapter Three**   
  


***

_“Dear Reader, let me begin by telling you the tale of two young abbé’s, Christian and Steven. They were an ordinary lot to the other abbé’s, yet extraordinary to each other. From the first moment Christian’s heavenly blue eyes met Steven’s, somewhere in the country a cat got drowned. Christian and Steven spent many hours reading together, explaining the scripture to each other and the best ways to teach one the ways of virtue. Neither of them knew the vices they wanted to act on. With each other that is.”_

_“Christian was not a quiet person, always one to entertain. This way Christian also had the gift of bringing Steven out of his shell. It was one of those nights that Steven, the quiet one, decided to kiss Christian.”_

Jensen knew he should not have started reading Padalecki’s writing, especially not at night, but Padalecki’s words draw him in, don’t let him go that easily.   
Tomorrow, he decides, he will go to abbé Jeffrey and ask him for guidance.

_“ Footsteps broke the naked lovers’ reverie. A door was pushed open, revealing a third abbé, Jason. They all locked stares in a triangle: Christian’s stare beckoning Jason as Steven pondered if he was willing to share Christian and himself with another person._

_Jason stood there gazing over their bodies, obviously not repulsed by their display.  
He watched as Christian turned to Steven, licking a fat stripe up his neck, latching on to the skin under his collarbone, still sheathed inside him._

_‘There’s room for one more.’ Christian breathed.”_

***

Jensen doesn’t remember his dream from that night, too exhausted to dream perhaps. However, his pantaloons were yet again damp. He decides to sleep in the nude from now on, he’d only sully his pantaloons, and there are plenty of sheets to go around, just not enough pantaloons for one abbé.

He dresses in his other set, and goes off to find the elder abbé Jeffrey. Abbé Jeffrey is often to be found in his own quarters, not to be disturbed unless it’s urgent. You can always placate the man with fine wine if the matters do not turn out to be as urgent as one thought they’d be.   
Jensen brings a wine from their own cellar, sure of the fact that the abbé will laugh at him.

“Abbé?” Jensen peers inside, seeing the abbé behind his desk, books scattered around him. He appears to be unwashed.

“Jensen, my boy. Do please enter,” the abbé says smilingly.   
Even though most people avoid this certain abbé, because of his extreme liberal thoughts and ways of looking at the world around him, to Jensen, he’s a great philosopher, albeit an often drunken one.

“I see you’ve brought wine, something grave must be of the matter.” His voice appears to be teasing, but his eyes tell Jensen that it’s even clear to the abbé, something is indeed bothering him.

“Well of course, abbé. I wouldn’t dream of entering your quarters and not bring a gift. Certainly not if it will entertain you for some time while I pester you with my issues.”

“Ah, let me guess. It’s Padalecki,” Abbé Jeffrey says easily, pouring himself wine, offering a glass to Jensen as well.  
  
“How did you guess?”

“I am not blind, abbé. You spend a lot of time with that young man. There was bound to be an issue sooner or later.”

Jensen nods along. “It’s not the man I have an issue with really. Well, I guess I do. But Jared is just misunderstood.”

“Jared, you tell me?” The abbé is wearing an understanding smirk and it bothers Jensen. It seems to be implying things that Jensen has been trying not to think about.

“Jared has become a good friend of mine, abbé.” Jensen gives a tiny smile, causing an even more fixed smirk on abbé Jeffrey’s face.

“Then what seems to be the matter, boy.”

“The stories,” Jensen clears his throat. “I’ve read his stories.”

When the abbé raises an eyebrow, Jensen hurriedly continues, feeling the need to defend himself and Jared. “They’re quite good really. The dynamics of the people in a relationship are really wonderful.”

“Jensen, calm down. What has gotten you so worked up you felt the need to bring this old man some wine. Come out with it.”

Jensen laughs awkwardly. “Yes, the stories. I don’t know how to quite put this.” He lets out a deep breath. “They seem to influence my dreams in a way that I have not experienced since I was a young boy.”

“Well you are still quite a young man.” Abbé Jeffrey smiles, and it doesn’t sit well with Jensen.  
“So let’s sort this out, yes? These dreams you are having, have a sexual nature, yes?”

Jensen nods, his entire face hot with shame.

“That’s alright Jensen. There’s no shame in that.” The abbé smiles at him, placing a hand high up Jensen’s knee.  
“I think we both know that these dreams stem from Padalecki’s stories.”  
Jensen nods, trying not to bounce his leg up and down, shaking abbé Jeffrey’s hands off.

“I think you and I both now that all you have to do now is distance yourself from the stories. Lay off them or skip the dirty pages. Whatever feels right to you.”

Abbé Jeffrey still smiles, his thumb rubbing circles in Jensen’s inner thigh.  
Jensen swallows, smiling back.  
  
“You are right, abbé. Thank you for your time.”

When Jensen attempts to leave, abbé Jeff holds him back with the hand now on his thigh.

“Are you worried about sinning Jensen?” His voice is gravely low now.  
“The Sin of Onan?” His breath smells of the cheap wine Jensen brought and it’s heightening all of Jensen’s senses. His body is reacting to the abbé’s touch in ways it’s not supposed too.

“Let me tell you Jensen, my boy. It’s perfectly natural. I don’t think God would deny any man such pleasure if it doesn’t harm none. Everybody does it and yet nobody owns up to it.”

There’s invisible weight pressing down on Jensen’s chest, a pressure down in his groin, lightheadedness because of everything, because of the abbé.

“I’m glad I could be of help, Jensen. Come back any time.”  
The abbé removes his hand but doesn’t move back much. Jensen has to brush past him to be able to leave.

His heart is beating in his throat as he says goodbye, leaving with heat pooling in his center and the need to think things over and pray.

***

Jensen wanders through the halls a bit, letting the cool, damp air calm him down. He does a round at the recreation room, watching the mentally disabled express their anger/happiness/hunger. It always helps Jensen to see how they flourish when they’re inside an asylum, as opposed to when they’ve been maltreated in the outside world. That’s why Jensen likes it so much here: the asylum is not a prison.

He says a quick “good day,” to Jared’s neighboring inmates and eventually stops by Jared’s chambers. He’s still got an odd tingling feeling underneath his skin which intensifies just a little more when he sees Jared behind his writer’s desk. He seems intensely focused on his writing.

“How are you today, Jared?” Jensen asks.

Jared grunts something and continues his scribbling.  
Jensen sits there for five more minutes, being ignored before he feels useless and rejected.  
“Well, I won’t disturb you any longer, Jared.”

Jensen putters around a bit longer before making a movement towards the room, waiting for Jared to say something.   
When nothing follows, Jensen lets out a frustrated sound and walks out.

“Abbé,” Jared’s stern voice stops him in his tracks. “Come back tonight. I’ll have a story then, just for you.”

When Jensen looks back at him, Jared is still writing, no mind for his surroundings.

The rest of the day is spent thinking about Jared and what he could have possibly written for Jensen. Something just for him. When he thinks about it like that, the faint buzz underneath his skin makes itself known again. It haunts the back of Jensen’s mind during his chores, all through dinner.

He saves his visit for Jared for the last moments, before the lights are supposed to go off and the night guard appears for duty.

When he enters Jared’s chambers, he sees Jared sprawled out on his bed, ink stained papers fisted in his hand, dozing.  
Jensen is nailed to the floor as he can’t keep his eyes off of Jared. He has never seen the man so unguarded before, his features so peaceful.

“Are you curious for your story, abbé?” Jared speaks without opening his eyes and Jensen wonders how the hell Jared always knows it’s him.

Jared stands up from the bed, smirk in place, the peaceful features all gone.  
“It’s your smell, abbé, if you’re wondering.” He stops near Jensen, sniffing the air, “and such a sweet smell it is.”

Jensen swallows, mouth feeling dry all of the sudden. He glances down at the papers in Jared’s hand. “Is that for me, Jared?” he asks.

“Patience, my dear,” Jared smirks again, “it’s a virtue.”

Jensen must’ve had a very expressive face at that moment, because Jared chuckles outright.

“Fine, abbé. You may read it.” Before Jensen can reach for the papers, Jared pulls them away. “One condition however, I insist you read it here so I may view my reader’s reaction first hand.”

Jensen just stares at him, anxiety already building up over the fact that Jared’s, nay, Padalecki’s stories usually have a visible effect on him. He’s now supposed to read it, this story written especially for him, in front of Jared himself. It won’t do.

“Please,” Jared smiles sweetly at him and Jensen can’t seem to find any fault in his smile, no mockery, no double entendres, nothing. It’s just a smile, asking Jensen to indulge him.

“Of course, Jared. May I sit down?”

Jared’s sweet smile stays in place. “Please, abbé, take my bed, it’s far more comfortable.”

Jensen, for the world, can’t figure out how he’s doing the things he’s doing, without questioning them further. So he goes, sitting down on Jared’s bed, papers in hand. Jared situates himself in the chair at his writer’s desk, watching Jensen.

_“Dear reader, I have yet another tale to tell about a young abbé. The reason I felt compelled to write this tale, was because of the young abbé’s sweet demeanor. I have mentioned the sweet ones before, always being corrupted soon by promises of delightful pleasures. This abbé though, this abbé is the sweetest simpleton ever encountered, always seeing the good in other people and never speaking or hearing any evil if he can help it._

_If only this abbé were as ugly and dimwitted as he was naïve. Nay, our cruel God has made this abbé the most beautiful man to be beheld, far more beautiful than any woman you have come across even. Dark honey coloured lashes as long as a cow’s, blazing soft green eyes, luring you in to do despicable things to him. Lest I not forget, his lips, strawberry colored, lush and thick, surely tasting as sweet as they seem._

_This abbé though, we shall name him Dean, never understood if one, albeit male or female, tried to trick him in to their beds, much to the people’s chagrin I have to tell you.”_

Jensen had a niggling feeling that this was not going to go well, he even flirted with the thought of this story being about him, but nothing has yet confirmed his thoughts.

“ _Dean knocks nervously on the elder abbé’s door. ‘Abbé John?” he asks._  
The abbé opens his door, merely clad in his sleeping garments. ‘Dean, my boy. What is the matter?’  
Young Dean trembles with barely contained insecurities and the abbé seems to notice this. He peers around the corridor, motioning for Dean to follow him inside.  
‘Sit down, Dean and tell me what’s bothering you.’ 

_Dean sits down, the man’s presence already effecting him. ‘I’ve been having trouble lately, abbé.’ He has the sudden urge to swallow as the elder abbé’s gaze is still heavily fixed on him.  
‘I’m not sure how to breach this subject, but I am at the end of my Latin.’_

_‘Dean, my boy, surely it cannot be that bad. Feel free to discuss whatever it is.’ The abbé smiles at him, revealing two deeply carved dimples hidden underneath his thick black beard._

_‘Abbé? How do I deal with—‘ Dean gestures towards his groin area, shame coloring his cheeks._

_The abbé chuckles, sitting closer to Dean. ’Do you mean an erection, Dean?’  
Dean nods, lowering his head. The abbé grabs his chin, lifting his head up again._

_‘It’s alright Dean. Just tell me what has been getting you so bothered lately.’_

_Dean is shaking for all other reasons right now, foremost being the proximity of the elder abbé.  
‘Nothing specific,’ he lies._

_The abbé clucks, stroking along Dean’s jaw. ‘Lying is a sin, dear Dean. I am sure you are aware of that.’_

_Dean swallows, feeling his cock reacting properly to the abbé’s ministrations.  
The abbé seems to notice, seeking Dean’s eyes. He lowers his hand and cups Dean’s rapidly growing erection._

_‘Is this your problem, son?’ “_

Dean stops reading after that, shocked. He’s about to confront Jared when Jared rips the pages from his hands, face close to his own.

“Too much for you to handle, Jensen?” he growls.

Jensen wants to reprimand and point out Jared’s out of place behaviour. He had no right to write such a thing, such a private thing. Most of all; Jensen wonders how on earth this ended up with Jared.

“You have no right,” Jensen starts, only to be cut off by Jared, cupping him where he didn’t know he was growing hard.

“Indeed,” Jared breathes, rubbing Jensen harshly.

Jensen words are lost in a choke: Jared’s touch short circuiting his mind, thoughts and inhibitions.

Jared lets out a loud growl as he pushes Jensen’s robe up, hands dipping immediately in Jensen’s pantaloons. The flesh to flesh contact has Jensen arching up from the bed, clutching at Jared’s arms.

“Goddamn right,” Jared rumbles in his ear.

“Did he touch you Jensen? Did you let him?” he continues, stroking Jensen faster and faster, touching him in ways Jensen had never allowed himself to do.  
“Did he touch you like this, that horny, old fuck?”

Jensen is reduced to mere shaky breaths, white in front of his eyes, submitted to Jared’s hands.

“I bet he wanted to fuck you, Jensen.” Jared moves faster, thumbing Jensen’s slit more often. “I bet he wanted to bend you over right there, sweet abbé.”

Jensen feels something hot starting deep from inside, little waves trying to make way, heading the same direction.

“Would you have let him? Would you have let someone else touch you like this?”

Jared thumbs the slit relentlessly, stroking him tightly one more time before Jensen feels himself releasing, warmth rushing out of him, making him dizzy with the feeling. All his muscles are strung tight as he keeps pulsing into Jared’s hand.

When Jensen is reduced to a quivering heap on Jared’s bed, Jared removes his hand, appearing in Jensen’s vision, licking his hand clean of Jensen’s mess.

“Just as sweet as I thought, dear abbé.” He bends forward and licks the corner of Jensen’s mouth.  
When Jensen turns his head away, Jared chuckles, “in time, abbé. In time.”

Jared straightens Jensen’s clothes and walks away. Jensen hears him talking to the guard.

“He passed out again. Can you please be a doll and carry him back to his own chambers?”

A burly guard steps into Jensen’s view, throwing Jensen’s arms around his neck, before picking him up like a feather and carrying him away.

“Oh Clifton, wait up. These papers are really important.” Jensen feels Jared stuffing the papers in one of his pockets, but it barely registers as he passes out in the guard’s arms.


	4. Quatre

***

**Chapter Four**

*******

 “Abbé?”   
The pounding starts soon after.

“Abbé! I’m coming in.”

Jensen groans and rolls onto his back, facing the door, watching as abbé Jeffrey enters.

“Good God, abbé, you missed morning mass today.” When Jensen just groans, the abbé changes visibly. “Are you feeling well, son?”

Jensen tries to blink, but his eyelids refuse to cooperate as they keep drooping.

“Alright then, I’ll let you sleep off whatever it is. I’m sure you’ll be just fine come tomorrow morning.”

Before the abbé leaves, he looms over Jensen. Jensen can feel feather light touches trailing over his eyebrows, down his nose, lingering on his lips. The abbé clears his throat and Jensen hears the rustling of papers.

“Padalecki asked me to drop these off at your chambers, saying something about it being a companion piece to the short story he let you read earlier on. I’ll leave them here for you.”

With a last brush of fingers through Jensen’s hairs, the abbé disappears, leaving Jensen to fall back into a dreamless sleep.

***

The second time Jensen awakes, it’s again to the sound of rapping against his door.

One of the maidens walks in with a tray and sets it down on his night table.

“Feel better, abbé,” she smiles sweetly and quickly hurries away with a blush high on her cheeks.

Jensen’s head feels like it weighs half his body weight, and he can barely lift it. His stomach protests loudly when he’s about to lie down again and he decides it time to own up to what needs to be done.

When Jensen lifts the tray up, he sees some familiar papers lying around.

_“Dear abbé, I hope you’ve recovered well enough to read the rest of the story you did not get to finish last night.”_

Jensen feels his appetite disappearing as he remembers what exactly happened with Jared, how he let himself go. He betrayed his duty to his God and to himself, most of all he did wrong by Jared. Jared has a problem and Jensen shouldn’t have let Jared fall back on his bad habits.  
The small jitters he feels through his body at the thought of last night, just make him that much more queasy. Jensen needs to atone for his betrayal and his failures.  
  
He fails to stand up immediately, feeling lightheaded and still sick to the stomach. He walks gingerly towards his case, where he has his whip hidden from plain view. He’s never used it before, refusing to believe physical punishment would aid anything.

He knows that what he has done, isn’t something to be fixed or forgiven by merely praying or fasting. He needs to be punished, truly punished.

Jensen walks back to the Bible on his nightstand, whip held vast in his left hand with a white-knuckled grip.

When Jensen kneels in front of his bed, it’s not the bible he reaches for, but the papers Jared had left for him to read.

“ _When Dean walks in to his chambers some time later, pale-faced, Samuel is waiting for him. ‘Did you let him touch you Dean?’ Samuel hisses. Dean doesn’t know how to respond to his young friend. He shakes his head as he sits on his bed, still shaken from what happened with the elder abbé._

_Samuel lays a hand on top of Dean’s. ‘Nobody is allowed to touch you.’_

_Dean sighs, feeling warmed by his friend’s concern. ‘It’s alright, Sam. Nothing happened.’  
Dean lies back down on his bed, slowly drifting off as he feels Samuel lying down next to him, head on Dean’s shoulder, hand warmly curled inside his._

_‘I wish you would’ve come to me,’ Samuel whispers. ‘I could’ve helped you too.’_

_Samuel’s voice and proximity seem to be affecting him, making him question their closeness for the first time.  
‘I don’t think it’s a good idea to discuss such matters with you, Sam. You’re too young, you wouldn’t understand.’_

_Samuel lies still for a few moments. ‘We’re friends Dean, are we not? We should be able to tell each other anything.’_

_Dean’s head is racing with how he would ever be able to breach the subject with Samuel, and if perhaps he experiences the same feelings or the same thoughts._

_‘Tell me Dean, please?’ Samuel begs._

_Dean nods and he can feel Samuel’s gaze on him._  
‘It’s about boy matters, Samuel.’ He clears his throat, ‘have you ever, er, ever had strange thoughts about people around you?’  
‘What do you mean?’ Sam’s voice sounds softer.  
‘I mean in a manner that makes you feel strange, as if you shouldn’t be experiencing those thoughts or feelings, as if it’s wrong.’  
‘Like when you see someone pretty?’ Samuel asks.  
‘Yes.’ Dean’s voice is barely above a whisper now.  
‘I think I know what you mean. I think it has happened to me too. I don’t mind it though.’  
‘You don’t?’  
‘I mean, this is how I regard it: God made people out of Love? Is that not true? When people love, it’s like an act of God. They are just fulfilling God’s path. But love doesn’t just come instantly.’

_Dean tries to process what his young and wise friend is telling him, it sounds right to him so far even as the other voices in his head are screaming this is rubbish._

_‘We know the Word is that ye shall not have lustful thoughts, but I believe it is such lustful thoughts that lead to Love. The kind of love that makes people want to compose symphonies and write poems. Not the kind of love you’ll have for your mother.’_

_‘But what about--’ Dean wants to ask him about what happens when you have these lustful thoughts, how one is supposed to deal with that._

_‘You mean the, er--’ Samuel makes a gesture with his hand that Dean thinks he might understand, and he feels himself starting to blush, the familiar tingles starting low in his groin again._

_‘Well, we are men, Dean. I believe we are meant to spread our, er, things, and you can’t do that all the time, but the need is still there. So I believe that in order to function well as a man, especially a young man it’s best to give in to certain needs. They are needs, after all.’_

_Dean turns to Samuel, shocked. Samuel is staring at him with a strange intensity Dean cannot fathom. He notices the way he’s been staring at Samuel’s lips as he ponders what’s just been said to him. When he looks up again, Samuel drops his gaze from where they were fixed on Dean’s lips._

_They lie like that for a few moments, their position slowly dawning on Dean. Samuel has his leg slung over Dean’s leg, hands tangled together on Dean’s stomach and Samuel’s head lying close to Dean’s face._

_‘What about--?’ feelings one may have about other men, Dean wants to ask, but Samuel presses his lips against Dean’s._

_‘Different people have different needs.’ Samuel answers against his lips. ”_

Jensen sits there, kneeling at his bed, long after he has reread Jared’s story for the fourth time. This is Jared’s work. Padalecki is nowhere to be found in this sweet and loving story.

The way Sam explains the ‘wrong’ to Dean, answers most of Jensen’s worries. However, Jensen is still a man of God. He knows the Bible condemns the many trespasses Jensen has committed, and he just cannot get passed that.

He stands up in a daze, his feet carrying him out the door.

***

“Abbé?”

Jared is sitting at his desk, pen in hand, his hair deranged. He’s seems to be completely at ease, the thin shirt he’s wearing split wide open, loosely tucked in his trousers.

It seems like something has taken control over Jensen’s body, like he’s locked away and staring down helplessly through a window.  
He walks towards Jared, kneeling in front of him.

“Abbé?” Jared calls again, there’s a smile playing on his face but his eyes tell Jensen that Jared doesn’t know what to do.

Jensen lays down the whip and Jared’s papers on the floor next to him and starts fumbling at the buttons of his own undershirt.  
Jared grips his wrist, his composure seemingly aloof, except for his vice-like hold on Jensen.

“I’m quite busy, abbé,” Jared says, gaze darkening.

Jensen nods, eyes dropping involuntarily to the whip on the floor, drawing Jared’s eyes towards it as well. Jared yanks Jensen up on his feet, bringing their faces close to each other.   
“Is there something I can do for you?” Jared rumbles.

Jensen stares at him, not able to voice his needs. He’s not sure what his expression is saying, but Jared seems to understand anyway.

“Did you read my story, Jensen?” When Jensen blinks, Jared continues, “do you have to be punished, now? Am I the appointed fellow to make you atone?” Jensen closes his eyes, getting dizzy again. “Quite ironic don’t you think?”

Jared stands up, leading Jensen by the wrist towards the bed.  
“On your knees, abbé and remove your shirt.”

Jensen removes his shirt, kneeling down, settling his arms in front of him on the bed.  
Jared kneels down behind, settling the whip inside Jensen’s hand.

“We atone my way, dear Jensen,” Jared whispers in his ear. “Unfasten your pantaloons.”

Jensen isn’t sure where this is going, but he’s sure Jared will make him pay. Jared can right the wrong Jensen did him this way.   
When his pantaloons are loose, Jared yanks them down, exposing his bare backside.  
Jensen starts shivering immediately, not sure of what’s to come, what to expect, and not to mention: the shameful position he’s in.

“Bend over, love, there’s a debt to pay,” Jared purrs deceptively before raising his hand and smacking it down hard against Jensen’s right rear.  
Jensen bites down hard on his lip as he lets the painful sensation rip through him, making the skin tingle and sting.

“Spread your legs wider,” Jared commands and just as Jensen shuffles his knees wider apart, Jared lays down another painful smack on the same spot.  
Jensen chews on his bottom lip, eyes pinched closed, waiting for whatever Jared has to give him next.

Instead of laying another slap, Jared fits his hand gently over the place he had previously assaulted, palming the flesh.

“Freckles, Jensen. I had no idea. Surely you don’t mind me taking a closer look, do you?”

Jensen feels Jared’s other hand fitting the shape of his left rear, palming along in the same rhythm of the right. When Jared stills his motions, Jensen hips seems to make the motion on their own, making Jared chuckle.

“Are you atoning yet, abbé?” Jared mocks.

Jared palms his left rear again before drawing back and laying an extra hard smack down on it, the impact pushing Jensen forward. The buzzing tremors have a different effect on him this time, sending the jolts to warm him in certain places instead.   
Jared’s fingers skim the surface of his backside with feather light touches, skimming lower to touch his thighs where the muscles are strained.   
  
Jensen shakes as Jared strokes his skin almost reverently. He draws back abruptly, smacking his hand down harshly against Jensen’s inner left thigh, sending the jolts this time right to his nether regions.  
  
While Jensen had been biting his lip from making any sound, a moan escapes him.  
“What’s this then?” Jared asks curiously.   
  
Jensen can feel Jared’s bodily heat close to his own naked skin, making him shiver for different reasons. Jared’s hand goes straight for Jensen’s erection, one he did not know he had until Jared touched him.

“It doesn’t seem to me you’re atoning quite well, dear abbé,” Jared mocks. “However are we going to solve this?” He thumbs the slit as he continues sarcastically, “I believe I have just the right punishment for you, Jensen. I really do hope you don’t enjoy this.”  
  
He strokes slowly up and down Jensen’s shaft, drawing soft pants from Jensen. Jared fits his own naked flesh against Jensen’s from behind, erection molded between Jensen’s cheeks, slowly rutting. Jensen’s too shocked, caught up in anticipation to do much of anything.   
Jared’s other hand comes around, catching Jensen’s left nipple between his fingers, harshly pulling on the sensitive nub. Jensen keeps his eyes closed, letting Jared do whatever he likes, not thinking about how good everything feels.

He wishes Jared would use the whip instead, punish Jensen the way he’s supposed to be punished, but it’s clear Jared needs his own form of punishing.   
Jensen spreads his legs wider, fitting Jared between his cheeks. He can feel sweat and something else easing the way for Jared, the way Jared’s cock drags and briefly catches on the rim of Jensen’s openingwith every few strokes. He desperately wants to push into the touch, seek out whatever more there is left to give or have.   
Jared huffs a laugh through his own harsh breathing, making him sound like a deranged person.

“I truly believe you’re hating every second of your punishment, abbé. God will be so pleased.” Jensen feels extreme resentment at the moment, unsure of the direction of the feeling when Jared pumps his shaft faster and faster. With Jared dominating almost all his senses, Jensen can feel a tell tale tingle starting in his spine again, starting at the place Jared touches every now and then, and coming faster in waves. Jensen spills, as much as he does physically as emotionally. There’s a load off and for a few short lived moments, Jensen feels as if everything is alright, all is forgiven.

Jared pushes Jensen forward, stilling his actions. Jensen can feel the head of Jared’s cock circling his hole and he fears what will come next. He takes in fast breaths, not expecting it when Jared lays another smack Jared down on his right cheek, the sound ringing loudly in the room. Every muscle in his body tightens at the sharp sting and Jared laughs loudly.

“If only you could see yourself abbé: the way your body winks at me.”  
He caresses the spot he just hit and retracts. Jensen glances at him, seeing the way he walks so freely, so utterly careless with his erection in hand.

Jared catches him watching and smirks.  
“Care to watch, Jensen love? Or would you rather give me a hand?”

He sighs loudly when he sees Jensen’s blank stare.   
“Fine!”   
He lets himself fall down in his reading chair, legs splayed open, cock in hand.  
  
“Pay attention, abbé. They do not teach you this in school.”  
Jensen stares in utter awe as Jared shifts the hand with Jensen’s spill on it, lower, down to his balls, rubbing it in the skin, fondling himself. His other hand strokes slowly up and down the shaft, providing a clear view of the vein and the head, flushed an angry shade of red. It looks so beautiful and strong, so entirely fascinating, Jensen doesn’t notice he has inched closer.

“Good God, abbé,” Jared chokes out and Jensen notices he’s sitting between Jared’s knees. He bites his lips as he watches Jared’s eyes, asking for something, surrendering, submitting, he’s not sure. He strokes his hands up and down Jared’s legs, up over the knees, stroking through the hairs. Jared holds his gaze and pumps his cock faster, the head peeking out of his fist every now then.

Jensen licks his lips in wonder when he sees pearly white, beading at the tip, swiped away by Jared’s thumb on every stroke. Jared’s breath gets more ragged and Jensen senses the same things are happening to Jared as they happened to Jensen just earlier. His hands inch up higher on Jared’s leg, fingers resting on his inner thigh, face close to Jared’s groin.

When Jensen lets out a breath he wasn’t aware of holding, Jared makes another choked sound, stroking furiously up and down as the same white matter spills hard and fast from Jared’s cock. A spurt hits Jensen on the cheek, making him pull his head back in shock. The next few catch on Jensen’s chin and neck. He sits there still, shocked as Jared finishes, no more seed left to spill.

“Dear Lord, abbé. You looked angelic before, but now, you’re positively divine.” Jared tries to smirk, but its effect is ruined by his ragged breathing and flushed face.

Jensen doesn’t reply, merely awaits Jared’s next step in his punishment. Jared regards him in return, eyes strangely focused on him.

“Abbé, for the last part of your punishment I would like you to return to your chamber, exactly as you are. You are not to wash yourself until the morrow.”

Jensen quietly fastens his pantaloons, shrugs back into his discarded undershirt. He turns around to see Jared studying his whip.

“Fine piece of work this is, Jensen. Are you sure you know the correct use for it?”

Jensen doesn’t ask for the whip back, but does grab the papers telling the story of Sam and Dean, the only thing bidding him some sort of solace at the moment.

“I’ll take good care of it, abbé,” Jared smiles sweetly, trailing the whip up and down his naked thigh. He looks like the embodiment of debauchery and Jensen couldn’t be any more fascinated.

“Thank you, Jared,” he says quietly, walking out of Jared’s confusing proximity, ignoring the various messes on display and imagining an audible sigh from Jared.


	5. Cinq

***

**Chapter Five**

***

It’s been a few weeks since the day Jared first punished him. The punishments have taken a different form now. Jensen will ask for another installment in the Sam and Dean universe, but in order to earn those stories, he’s to let Jared ask for something in return: punish him for wanting and reading the stories.  
Jensen has come to terms with his needs and wants, accepting what has to be done in order to attain them. It feels like it’s the only way to restore a certain balance: Jensen will atone and Jared faults won’t be abused.   
  
Today, Jensen’s supposed to receive another part of the story Jared refused to give him a few days ago. He said he had something rather special in mind for this chapter.  
Jensen doesn’t know what it is about those two characters, how it is that they’ve held him in such a grip, that he can’t tell Jared “no” and move on. Jensen thinks it’s the way that the younger one, Sam, reminds him in some ways of Jared: how Jared might’ve been when growing up: vulnerable. When the asylum and ‘Padalecki’ had been far, far away.

Jensen enters Jared’s chamber, stepping in the now just as familiar surroundings as his own.

“Ah, abbé, right on time.” Jared greets him with a rare genuine smile. “My mother sent me some chocolates.” He shakes the box containing what Jensen supposes are the chocolates in Jensen’s direction. “Care for one?”

Jensen smiles at Jared’s open display.   
“That’s very kind of you to share, Jared.” He picks out one randomly and bites in to the rich tasting chocolate, obviously of good quality.  
When Jensen looks at Jared, his eyes have darkened, his smirk vastly in place as he steps closer to Jensen.

“Dark chocolate, eh abbé? Passionate type are we?” Jared winks at him, steering Jensen towards the bed with his body. “You should know, abbé. The darker the chocolate, the more powerful an aphrodisiac.”

Jensen finds it difficult to respond casually and normal when Jared gets like this. He can twist every response from Jensen into some sexual innuendo and so Jensen rather stays quiet.  
Jared drops the box of chocolate somewhere next to him and stands face to face with Jensen.

“The chocolates, Jared,” Jensen tries to divert Jared’s attention, but to no avail.

“But, there’s some chocolate right here, Jensen,” Jared responds breezily, lifting Jensen’s finger to his mouth.

“Your mother -” Jensen’s fingers twitch in anticipation, but Jared uses his hold on Jensen’s fingers to pull him closer, chest to chest.

“That daft cow?” Jared rumbles. “What good can sweets do me in here?”.  
Jared latches on to the corner of Jensen’s mouth, licking around it, moving further on to Jensen’s lips, briefly dipping inside.

“Oh, I revoke my stand, abbé. I’ve discovered some good use for them.” Jensen opens his eyes, just to blink at Jared. Jared is smiling, still holding onto Jensen’s finger. They’ve never gone this far before, and it’s confusing Jensen more than whatever it is they’ve been doing for the past weeks.

“I assume you came for this?” Jared lets go of Jensen’s finger and steps away, his smile awkward now as he won’t look Jensen in the eye.

“Well, of course you did,” Jared resumes his awkward smile as he retrieves the papers and hands them over to Jensen without preamble, nary a form of jest or blackmail.

“Here you go, abbé. I’m sure you’ll enjoy them. I’ll let you know when I have another one ready for you.”

When Jensen just stares at him, a confused “but-” escaping, Jared hurriedly continues,  
“I’m sure you’ve lots of chores to get back to, abbé.” His tone holds no insecurities, neither do his eyes.

Jensen nods, glancing around the room, his eyes land on the candy and he licks his lips as he remembers Jared’s touch from before.  
When he looks up at Jared again, he’s turned around, settling in to his chair with a book in hand, a clear dismissal.  
Jensen sticks the papers in his inner pocket, leaving Jared’s room and forgetting about them as the day demands his full attention.

***

When he gets back to his room late that evening, there’s a box of chocolates on his nightstand.  
Jensen finds himself smiling at Jared’s strange conducts.  
He remembers the story then. Grabbing the papers from his pocket, he smooths them out as he picks up the box and settles on the bed.  
It’s not before long that Jensen is entirely engrossed in the latest chapter, the warm feeling inside him intensifying the longer the story continues. There is more than one chocolate missing from the box and Jensen knows he’ll have a stomach ache later on.

 _“Sam comes running, barreling in to Dean._  
‘Dean!’ the young boy exclaims.  
‘Sammy,’ Dean laughs, not at all uncomfortable with their position on the floor, an armful of Sam on top of him. ‘What’s gotten in to you?’  
‘I just needed to tell you something,’ Sam breathes out, his breath still coming irregularly.  
‘And what would that be?’ Dean smiles.  
‘Well, I just-’ Sam stands up abruptly, grabbing Dean’s hand to pull him up. ‘I-’ Sam starts blushing furiously. ‘I want to taste you,’ he lets out eventually.  
When Dean merely blinks at him, Sam gains courage, stepping forward to hold onto Dean’s hips.  
‘I want to know what you taste like when you’re at your highest. I want to be the one to make you feel like that, with my mouth.’  
Dean lets out a sharp exhale. ‘Your mouth.’  
‘Just my mouth, Dean.’ He cups Dean’s face, bringing his lips upon Dean’s again, thrusting his tongue inside. He starts sucking and whirling his tongue around Dean’s tongue immediately, showing exactly what he’s planning to do to Dean’s member.”

Jensen crosses his legs, trying to relieve some of the pressure he’s feeling, in a less pleasant way. He can imagine exactly the way Sam’s mouth would capture Dean’s, imaging it exactly the way Jared did to himself not that long ago.   
He squirms uncomfortably, while he keeps reading, trying to finish the adventures of Sam’s mouth.

A soft knock breaks the silence and peace, with that the only moment he has time for himself during the day.   
Before reaching the door, abbé Jeffrey is already pushing his way inside.  
“Good evening, abbé,” He greets Jensen cheerily. “All’s going well I see.”

“Why yes, thank you abbé. To what do I own this visit?” Jensen asks in the same tone. The elder abbé’s presence still doesn’t sit well with Jensen. It’s something buzzing underneath his skin, telling him he shouldn’t let his guard down.  
The abbé just smiles and walks around Jensen’s chamber, his eyes fixed on the chocolates and papers on his bed.

“Such luxury you have, abbé,” he says, a strange smile fixed on his face as he holds up the half-empty box.  
He approaches Jensen slowly. “How’s Padalecki doing, abbé?” Abbé Jeffrey asks and Jensen’s not sure the abbé is actually asking a question which warrants an answer.

“He’s quite alright, thank you. Doing better every day.”

“I suppose it’s your infinite patience and devotion that keeps him this healthy.”

Jensen doesn’t know how to respond, so he smiles. The abbé nears him, standing very much in his personal space. He lifts a hand, brushes something off of Jensen’s bottom lip and brings his thumb to his own mouth to suck on.   
Jensen stands very still, waiting for the abbé to finish whatever it is he’s started.

“There was some chocolate on your face, abbé. Not quite proper,” he explains.   
“Well it has come upon my attention that Mrs. ‘Padalecki’ had some chocolates sent over to Jared. I suppose Jared gave them to you?” the abbé inquires.

“Why yes, they were sent to my chambers by him. As a token of gratitude I suppose. Jared is peculiar like that.” He’s trying to sound like nothing is out of the ordinary, but he couldn’t be more on alert.

“You must understand Jensen,” the abbé speaks closely to his face. “I’m only looking out for your best fare. I wouldn’t want Padalecki to force you to do certain things.”

“I don’t understand, abbé,” he asks, genuinely confused.

“I think you do, abbé.” Abbé Jeffrey smiles a somewhat strange smile and heads for the door.

“Thank you for the pleasure,” he adds, brushing his thumb along his own bottom lip.

***

_“Have you heard?”_

_“About what?”_

_“About the young abbé!”_

_“Do tell, what did the abbé do?”_

_“Well I heard, he’s been getting real chummy with that Padalecki fella.”_

_“You mean Jared?”_

_“Yeah, that one. Well apparently, he’s been using the abbé as a slave for his own sexual pleasures!”_

_“Dear Lord!”_

_“Yes! And the elder abbé, knows about this and now it appears the young abbé has seduced the elder abbé so he won’t be expelled.”_

_“Such wretchedness, Anne! Abbé Jensen would never do such a thing!”_

_“Of course you would say that, Carol. You’ve been sweet on his freckles since the very first day you picked up his dirty washings.”_

_“Was not!”_

_“I bet you wouldn’t say no if the abbé asked you to do some private washings, would ya?”_

_“I’m not listening to you any longer, Anne!”_

_“I bet you’d even let Padalecki watch!”_

_“La la la la la.”_

***

“Jared?” Jensen enters Jared’s eerily silent chamber, confused about where his friend might be. When he steps further inside, he spots Jared sitting in a chair nearby his small window.  
“Jared, are you alright?”

Jared turns to him slowly, his face a mixture of various emotions, Jensen can’t even begin to decipher.  
Jensen takes another step forward, watching as Jared practically flies out of his chair, standing right in front of Jensen within the blink of an eye.

“Jared, what’s going-” he doesn’t get the chance to finish, as Jared grabs on to his face, holding him trapped between his large hands.

“Did he taste you?” he growls, before pouncing on Jensen, seeking out his lips with an anger Jensen has never experienced before.

“Goddamnit, you taste like chocolates.” Jared spits on the ground and wipes at his mouth. Jensen remains quiet: the most effective way to deal with Jared he has noticed.

“Did he bring your dear old buddy Jesus?” Jared mocks. “Did you all have a holy trinity?”

Jensen is completely at loss as what brought this upon Jared, whatever he did to make Jared behave like this.

“You have nothing to say to me?” Jared asks. “Perhaps you have something to show me rather? Is that it?” With that, he closes in on Jensen, grabbing him and unfastening his pantaloons in a swift move. Jensen’s completely lost in Jared’s rage, not even thinking clearly about what’s being done to him. He tells himself Jared needs to let this out of his system. There’s nothing wrong with this.   
Jared attacks Jensen’s mouth again, coaxing his tongue inside and sucking on it as he continues disrobing Jensen. Jared’s hand glides roughly between his cheeks, parting them with his fingers and dipping the tip of his middle finger inside. Jensen clenches down hard, completely unprepared for the foreign invasion.   
Jared lets go of Jensen’s mouth, but keeps the tip of his finger inside.  
  
“Still a virgin I suppose, abbé? No crusader has tried to invade you?” He chuckles in Jensen’s ear. “I’m going to prepare you for one, Jensen. Best relax for the ride.”   
Jared then wiggles the finger still inside Jensen, pushing it farther in just to pull it back out again and repeat the motion.   
Jensen gives in to Jared once more. He knows Jared will never hurt him. Jensen just needs to abide by it. This doesn’t mean Jensen doesn’t feel anything with all of it. _Au contraire_ , he feels everything. He feels the heat it sparks inside him as Jared palms his cheeks, as Jared’s breath ghosts across Jensen’s ear, most of all; the feel of Jared inside him, loosening him up.

“Good God, abbé! Relax. You’re worse than a blushing fifteen year old laundry lass.”

Jensen can’t do more than exhale ragged breaths, sharper ones when Jared crooks his finger in a particular way, igniting something inside. Jensen notices himself pushing back eagerly against the single finger, his body wanting to accept the second fingers teasing at the rim.  
  
Jared taps Jensen’s legs further apart, sinking to his knees down before him.  
“This divine taste, is just mine to have, abbé,” he states, stroking up and down Jensen’s hardening length. “Nobody else, Jensen.”   
The word’s get muffled as Jared presses his nose against the base of Jensen’s length, in to the wiry curls and breathes in deeply. He licks around the area, still pushing his finger in and out of Jensen, driving him nonsensical with the dual feelings.  
Jensen decides to blank his mind. This is something Jared needs to do. This isn’t about him.

Jared’s tongue travels lower, licking at the sensitive skin of his sack, stabbing at his testicles playfully with his tongue. He chuckles at Jensen’s reaction when he takes one of them in his mouth, the sound vibrates against him, drawing a more prominent reaction from Jensen.  
Jared continues traveling his tongue along the vein, back up to the head, grabbing Jensen’s fully erect cock in his other hand.   
Jared doesn’t continue after that. When nothing happens after a few moments longer, Jensen looks down at Jared.

“It’s quite a power, abbé, having a man on his knees in front of you. Wouldn’t you agree?” The picture Jared makes is ridiculous. His long hair is plastered to his temples, half of it in his eyes. His mouth is shiny red with his own saliva, holding on to Jensen’s penis like it’s the most normal issue in the world.  
Jensen is at loss for words once again, merely able to blink at Jared and to let out soft pants, quivering on his two legs.  
Jared wiggles the finger inside Jensen and pulls it out, wiping it on his own trousers. He lets go of Jensen with a sigh. He stands up again, towering over Jensen, and it seems all his anger has drained out of him.  
“Would you be so kind as to lay on the bed, abbé?” Jared’s asks in a mock-sweet tone, but he won’t look directly at Jensen, instead opting to face the mentioned bed.

Jensen backs up until his knees hit the bed, and gingerly lies down on it, feet still planted on the floor, not sure of what to expect now. His erection is softly wilting now that all sensory input from Jared has been deprived.  
The bed dips next to him as Jared lies on his side beside Jensen, only the warmth of his proximity reaching Jensen.

“You never deny me anything,” Jared’s voice is a soft murmur, as if the words weren’t meant for Jensen’s ears. Jared snaps out of it soon after, eyes fleeting back up to Jensen.  
“Explore yourself, abbé,” Jared commands. “Repeat whatever feels good until you can’t stand the feeling no longer.”

Jensen blinks at him, shocked and ashamed. There’s no way he will carry that out. It just won’t do. Jared’s predatory smile sits vastly in place.   
“Don’t worry abbé. I will be there with you every step of the way.”

With that, Jensen watches Jared undo his own trousers, laying back down next to Jensen, stroking his impressive length into full hardness.  
Jensen watches, fascinated, as Jared’s hand works himself, imagining his own hand doing the same thing to himself: stroke up, thumbing the crown, stroke down, and tightening his fist.  
He squirms on the bed, the phantom feel of Jared’s fingers still present as his hips seek some sort of relief. Jared seems to have let go of every inhibition, the very few that remain, groaning louder and louder as his fist fastens the pace.

Jared stops all of the sudden, grabbing on to Jensen’s wrist, stopping him before he reaches for his own erection.  
“Up and down, abbé,” Jared pants. “Like this.” He removes Jensen’s hand and plants it in his own lap, making sure Jensen closes it in a fist around Jared’s cock. Jared’s own moist hand grabs on to Jensen’s fully erect penis.

“Follow my lead, Jensen,” he grins. With that, he starts pumping up and down Jensen’s length, repeating the motions as he just did to himself. Jensen wants to close his eyes, the feelings too much to handle, too overwhelming.  
Not for the first time, he’s unable to remove his eyes from Jared’s doings.

Jared thrusts up in to Jensen’s loose fist, immediately soiling Jensen’s hand with the moisture spreading out. He takes a moment to register the feel of it in his hand, the weight and the texture: the hot skin, almost throbbing in his hand.  
Jensen tightens his fist around Jared’s cock, extracting a rather loud moan from Jared. Jared’s motions falter when Jensen slides his hand up and down experimentally, wanting to see the mechanics of it.   
He will do this to Jared and Jared can do this to him, but he won’t do it to himself.  
  
He watches the way the flushed head disappears in his hand on every up stroke. Jensen loosens his hold on the down stroke, tightening it again when he repeats the motions.   
It’s when Jared pushes him away with a weak shove, that Jensen notices their position: Jensen is almost lying on top of Jared, leg thrown over Jared’s thigh, slowly rubbing himself against Jared.

“Sweet Jesus, you’re a fast learner. I think it’s best to seek out your other talents as well,” Jared pants and rolls himself on top of Jensen. “There are a lot of things we can do together, Jensen.”

Jared slides his hand in to Jensen’s hair, grabbing on tightly as he positions their groins together. He tugs harshly at Jensen’s hair, tipping his head back, exposing his throat. Jared scrapes his teeth along the expanse of skin, tugging Jensen’s collar down, before attacking him with his teeth.

Jensen feels the need to cry out, but Jared manages to make him bite back the sound when he grabs a hold of both their erections, velvet, moist skin, touching skin. Jared starts rutting like an animal as soon as his fist encloses over both of them, his mouth still latched on to Jensen’s neck. Instead of biting, Jared is now nibbling on the skin, tonguing the flesh every now and then. The grip on his hair remains brutal, but Jensen can’t find it in him to care as it sends all signals towards where Jared has a hold on them both.  
Jared’s hips snap faster and faster, his thumb teasing Jensen’s slit, bordering on painful.

Jared sits back all the sudden, only his thighs still touching Jensen’s. Jensen watches through half-lidded eyes as Jared’s hand works his own erection ferociously, eyes intensely fixed on Jensen’s.  
Jared’s makes a familiar choked sound, and aims the direction of his spill on Jensen’s groin, effectively hitting the length of Jensen’s erection.  
When there’s not much more to spill, Jared bends over, his seed-covered hand gripping Jensen. He starts working Jensen, applying the same brutal pace and manner as he did to himself, paying particular heed to the crown.   
Jared stops when Jensen bucks up in to his fist, meeting his pace. He slides his hand languidly up and down Jensen’s shaft, loose circle of his fist, trailing downwards to his sack, underneath them and behind them, slowly lifting Jensen hips, fingering the opening again.

“Keep your eyes open, Jensen,” Jared warns, before sliding down the bed, arms pushing Jensen’s legs further apart and lifting his hips. His mouth encloses over Jensen’s penis, suckling the tip the same time he enters Jensen with two of his fingers.  
Jensen forgets to breathe for a moment as his body adjusts his way around Jared’s fingers, the rest of his body complying to this overpowering feeling. Jensen doesn’t know what to with himself as Jared controls him everywhere, once again pulling him into the whirlwind that is Jared.

Jared starts lowering his head further down the length of Jensen, taking him in more and more, the suction stronger now. Jensen wants to push Jared away but at the same time keep him there and experience, feel, what this will do to him. Jared slides his tongue along the vein up to the tip again, tonguing the oversensitive slit, in the meanwhile squirming another finger inside of Jensen.  
  
Jensen forgot he had to be watching Jared instead of the ceiling. He returns his eyes on the scene before him. There’s sweat beading at Jared’s temples, face flushed red, his lips cherub like, stretched wide around Jensen’s girth. His body pushes back eagerly against Jared’s finger, just to push further in to Jared’s mouth.  
A rush of something, a powerful feeling fleets through him, when Jared looks up to him with heavily dilated pupils. He keeps his eyes on Jensen, as he pulls off a bit, only his pink tongue left to be viewed, circling the head, his fingers pushing against that same spot again. Jensen feels it rushing out of him, all muscles pulled tight. He tries to pull away from Jared, ashamed of what’s to come, but Jared holds him firmly in place, mouth taking him in again.  
Jared practically sucks it out of Jensen, eagerly bobbing his head up and down, taking everything Jensen has to deliver.   
He keeps Jensen inside until Jensen’s all soft again, entirely boneless.  
The fingers removed, leave Jensen feeling empty, but Jared already sidles up, thrusting his tongue inside Jensen’s mouth, sharing Jensen’s taste.   
Jensen wants to pull his head away, remove himself from the animalistic display, but there are several tastes assaulting Jensen’s tongue and he finds himself yet again curious for all of it.  
Jared pulls away when all there’s left, is the taste of their own mouths.  
Jensen’s breathing eases, feeling the energy drifting from him, no feelings whatsoever in his bones.

“I hate chocolate,” are the last words that register before Jensen drifts off in Jared’s bed. He wakes up in his own chambers again, fully dressed and cleaned up. The only thing that reminds him that it was no dream, is the purple bruise in the form of Jared’s mouth just underneath his collar.


	6. Six

***

**Chapter Six**

***

Jared had asked for Jensen’s presence today to help him out with some new writing he’s gotten in to. It’s strange for Jensen to return to the role he had previously taken, before he got lured in by his own needs. He’s not sure what’s expected from him now.

“Abbé, thank you for gracing me with your presence today,” Jared teases, making it easy for Jensen to remember the amicable relationship they had what seems like a lifetime ago. 

“My pleasure.” Jensen smiles back and for a minute, they’re locked in some sort of cycle: Jared smiling at Jensen, Jensen in turn, smiling back.  
Jared is the first to break it by clearing his throat, shuffling the papers strewn around together, tapping them against the dark wood to right them, before thrusting them towards Jensen.

“My latest creation, abbé. Inspired by our very own surroundings.” Jensen takes the papers from Jared, not sure of what to expect, or in what way Jared has abused the Asylum.

“It’s about a virginal laundry lass working at an asylum.” Jared smirks slyly. “Soon discovering whatever wicked lays inside her safe surroundings, finding herself in love with an abbé on the path of moral downfall.” Jared winks at him and Jensen finds himself intrigued already.

“It’s truly a love story, abbé. I know how fond you are of those.” Jared words are light and teasing.

“Well you certainly know me well, Jared.” Jensen wants to keep this lightness around them, for it to always define their interaction. “Would you mind me start reading this immediately? I believe I have some time to spare.”

“Of course. Feel free to read them in your own privacy,” Jared adds with a wink.

Jensen glances around the room. He’s doesn’t want to leave yet, not when he feels fine for the first time in weeks.    
“I’d actually prefer reading it here, if that’s alright?”

The corner of Jared’s mouth lifts and he quirks an eyebrow.  
“Why, all you had to do was ask, sweet abbé. My chambers, are your chambers.”

Jensen eyes flitter from the reading chair, to the bed. Opting for the bed, he sits down and leans against one of the masts, making himself comfortable before delving into the world of abbé de Coulmier and Madeleine.

He’s engrossed in the innocence of Madeleine and her everlasting taste of knowledge, not noticing how Jared has moved from his desk to his reading chair, eyes fixed on Jensen.

When the last page is read, Jensen looks up at Jared, a sick feeling in his gut. It seems Jared isn’t able to write a happy ending whatsoever. There’s always some twisted thing happening.  
“This was incredible, Jared,” he says. “Just have to shuffle a few comma’s here and there and change the repetitive words.”

Jared has his fingers tangled, the tips of his forefingers touching, creating a triangle. He seems to be in deep thought.

“I believe you could print these stories, Jared. Perhaps revise them with my help? For the general public?”

This seems to get Jared’s attention. He untangles his fingers, leaning forward.  
“Oh, really?”

Jensen’s not sure about what it is he said that seemed to turn Jared’s mood like this.  
“Well, yes. Wouldn’t you like that, Jared?”

“These stories were not written for the general public, sweet abbé,” Jared says with a hint of anger coating his tone. “Nor were they ever created with the intention of ending up in a book.”

He sits back in his chair again, hands folded in their previous position.  
“Besides, I’m already working on a book. These are just for my reader’s pleasure.”  
When Jensen doesn’t give any reaction, Jared throws his hands up.  
“You, abbé! You are my reader.”

“Oh right, yes.” Jensen nods, but the inclination of it doesn’t dawn on him. Jared seems to be prickled again, standing up from his chair with a huff and a muttering under his breath, which sounds a lot like, “damned fool.”

Jensenkeeps still on Jared’s bed, unsure of how to fill the silence while Jared keeps puttering at his desk, rearranging ink and pens.

“A book, Jared? You’re already working on one?”  
Jared makes a noncommittal sound in response, so Jensen continues, trying the re-establish the symmetry.   
“May I know what it’s about?”

Jared turns around at that, a pen in hand, expression vague. He approaches Jensen as he answers, “I can’t tell you much. It would spoil the surprise.”   
The vague demeanor changes visibly when Jared sits down on the other end of the bed and looks at Jensen.  
“It’s just,” Jared sighs. “I’m afraid of your reaction. Your opinion means a great deal to me, abbé.”

Jared looks the other way and Jensen feels compelled to shuffle closer, comfort this newfound side of Jared. He lays his hand down on Jared’s shoulder, trying to convince Jared that he’s brilliant and that Jensen doesn’t believe he could ever hate anything Jared would write.  
As soon as his hand touches Jared’s shoulders, Jared turns to him with an insecure, forlorn expression on his face. He brings his hand up and touches Jensen’s cheek, bringing their foreheads together.

“May I please kiss you, Jensen?” It’s the first time Jared has asked him for anything that gives Jensen full control.   
Jared seems to have laid down an important part of him bare to Jensen, and it tugs at the most empathic side of Jensen. There’s no way Jensen could hurt someone more than to deny them what they ask for when they’re at their most vulnerable.   
Somewhere in the back of his mind there’s a voice saying that that situation doesn’t apply here, shouldn’t apply. Not for what is being asked of him.   
Jensen swallows as more saliva starts to gather in his mouth and nods, softly touching his lips against Jared’s. Jared joins him in his chaste kiss, pressing their lips together, slowly moving upper lip past upper lip. When Jensen thinks that he could get used to this, that there’s nothing wrong with these kinds of kisses, Jared presses in harder, pushing his tongue along.   
He grabs on to Jensen’s shoulders, pressing him down on the bed and lowering his own body along, kissing fervidly.  
Jared, once again makes it difficult for Jensen to breathe and gather his thoughts, rationalize the situation. Jensen can’t stop the fevered kissing not even when Jared starts moving his hips languidly, pressing along certain points.

“Jared,” he tries, pushing ineffectively at Jared’s shoulders. Jared doesn’t respond, instead redoubling his efforts, sucking more oxygen from Jensen.  
With one last surge of energy, Jensen buckles up and pushes Jared off of him. He rolls himself to his side, gulping in bouts of air while Jared laughs next to him.   
Jensen looks over to see Jared lying, as lazy as a cat, with his arm tucked behind his head and a broad grin on his face.  
It’s then that Jensen realizes it was a ruse, tricking Jensen in a way he did not think Jared would do.

 “Oh don’t look at me like that,” Jared says, laughing.  
Jensen doesn’t want to look at Jared as shame colors his cheeks. He stands up to leave, but finds his pantaloons unfastened. Jared chuckles when Jensen spares him one more glance.   
“Don’t be mad, abbé. Your opinion does brighten my day, really, but so do a lot of your other fine assets.”

Jensen wants to do something, say something to remind Jared of his place, but he can’t find the strength to do so.  
Jensen leaves with what little dignity he has left, Jared’s chuckle following him down the corridor.

***

Jensen, instead, tries to ignore Jared for a few days by staying out of his way and not touching any of the pages Jared sends him. It’s when the daily visits are cut from Jensen’s schedule that  he realizes that he spends a great deal of his time there. He feels guilty when he considers the other inmates, agreeing with abbé Jeffrey to fill up the time slot left with creative classes.  
He’s instructing an art class when one of the maids, Anne, comes running to him. Her cheeks are flushed red and her eyes bright when she addresses him.

“Abbé, you must come immediately!” she says all the while shifting from one foot to another, as if she’s barely containing herself from dragging Jensen along by his sleeve.

“It’s Padalecki, abbé. He’s gone entirely mad!”  
Jensen lays his hands upon her shoulder, trying to calm the young woman.

“Anne, calm down. Please tell me what’s the matter.”  
She tenses at first, but then relaxes under Jensen’s touch.

“Abbé, just come with me immediately, we believe you’re the only one who can get him out of it.”   
They’re already walking out of the room, him following her brisk step.  
“He’s like a five year old throwing a tantrum,” she says, exasperated.  
Jensen listens as he follows her down, bracing himself for a furious Jared.  
When they arrive at Jared’s chambers, there’s another maid running away from the room.

“You ignorant cunt!” reaches Jensen’s ear like a roar, a bottle of ink following next, breaking a few feet in front of him. Anne blushes furiously next to him and Jensen dismisses the words in favor of finding out what’s wrong with Jared. He sends Anne away before Jared can do more damage.

“Jared!” he exclaims upon finding the state Jared’s room is in. His room is one big mess, clothes and various articles thrown about. Jared is rooting around in his dresser, throwing out whatever meets his hand.

“Jared!” he tries again. “What’s wrong?”

“Paper!” Jared snarls. “Goddamn, paper. For fuck’s sake.”

“What’s wrong with the paper?” Jensen asks, trying to keep Jared focused.

“How can there be no paper?!” Jared keeps to pulling out dressers. “I specifically have an order of paper being available at all times. And what does that blushing cunt bring? Goddamned ink!”

Jensen feels his cheeks heating up at the words again, but there’s no stopping Jared once he’s started.

“What on fuck’s stinking earth is there to do with ink when there’s no goddamned paper!” With that, he drops another bottle of ink lying around.

“Jared,” Jensen coaxes. “I’m sure there are some papers around here somewhere.”

“Where?!” Jared’s attention is now solely focused on him. “What on earth do you have lying around this shithole that would qualify as something worthy of writing on?”

“Jared…” Jensen thinks Jared is overstepping the boundaries, insulting the facility like that. Instead of telling Jared to mind his manners, Jensen takes a deep breath.  
“What can I do for you Jared?”

“What can you-” Jared huffs, letting out a harsh laugh. He whirls around facing his desk again, shoulders slumped. His eyes rake over the things thrown in chaos on his desk.

“Perhaps there are some papers in my room, I’ll check Jared,” Jensen says in a soft voice. Jensen watches as Jared’s shoulders tense.  He turns around, rooting Jensen to the spot with a wild gaze.

“Don’t move,” Jared says.  
He walks over to his dresser, retrieving a beautiful mahogany box. He rummages around in it, coming up with a small bottle and a brush of some sort.  
“You will do,” Jared says, and Jensen first response is, “what?”

“Strip,” Jared continues, no regard for Jensen’s openmouthed astonishment.   
He feels wrong for thinking it, but he can’t help it. There’s only one word for him to describe Jared with now: madman.  
“Jared, how is that-?”

“Strip, abbé.”

When Jensen’s about to question him again, Jared steps closer, the chemical smell of ink assaulting Jensen’s senses.  
“Lie on the bed on your belly.”

Jensen considers saying no, telling Jared that he isn’t five years old any longer and he can’t behave like this. Another part of him thinks that there is a reason Jared’s in this asylum. He needs someone to listen to him, understand him. Jensen thinks he understands, that he could be the person to listen to Jared.  
  
He starts unbuttoning his collar, fingers working automatically down all the buttons leading to his waist. Shrugging out of his black coat, he lifts the white under-shirt over his head, splaying it over one of the chairs.  
He lies down on top of the covers on Jared’s bed, shivering as the cold air hits his bare back.

The bed dips as Jared straddles his legs, nestling his crotch between Jensen’s cheeks.  
“You will do, abbé. As long as I have to, until someone delivers me the papers I require.”

Jensen swallows and nods, closing his eyes in anticipation of what Jared has in plan for him now.  
Jared’s hand smoothes up and down the skin of his back, as if brushing off any imperfections.  
The tip of the brush, tickles wetly over Jensen’s neck. It’s cold and itchy when Jared blows over it, moving the brush against his skin again. Jensen squirms against the feel every now and then, stopped when Jared effectively pushes him further in to the mattress.  
At first, Jensen tries to make the letters out, but is soon lulled into a half state of dreaming by the rhythmic pressure and swipe of Jared’s hand.  
  
When Jensen awakes after a while, he’s still in the same position, his arms spread wide out, sentences covering the entire length up to his wrists. ‘ _He thought he’d never indulge.’_ he makes out, vaguely becoming aware of something warm and hard pressing in to his thigh.  
Jensen tenses, but Jared doesn’t let anything on. The only sound Jared makes, is his regular, calm breathing and the brush dipping in to the ink, tapping against the lid.  
Jared is still working on his skin, now reaching the small of his back and his sides.   
He’s used to the feel of the ink and brush on his skin, but it didn’t prepare him for how heightened his senses would be now that Jared has reached the lower part of his back.  
He can’t stop the squirm when Jared brushes over his side. Jared stops and growls, ordering him to stay still.  
Jensen does his best to keep from moving while Jared seems to apply the brush in an extreme, torturously slow manner. With every stroke on Jensen’s back, there’s more warmth gathering in his centre. Jensen knows better than to squirm, but it’s quite a hardship not to when he wants to adjust his position, take some of the pressure off.  
  
After what seems like hours, the writing stops. Jensen’s amazed at Jared being able to remain so focused and quiet, the words carefully written out on Jensen’s skin. Jensen doesn’t understand what he’s feeling right now, seeing the words, Padalecki’s words adorned on him, just him.  
Jared leans forward, blowing soft breath on his lower back, against his sides, tickling him and giving him goose flesh along the way.  
Jared’s careful ministrations send leisurely sparks of warmth down Jensen’s body and he finds himself too comfortable to move.

“Don’t move,” Jared whispers from far away and Jensen feels his eyelids drooping again, lulled again in to a deceptive sense of peace.

When he awakes next, he finds Jared lying next to him, brush clutched in his hand, mouth slack and expression softened out entirely.  
His fingers twitch to brush the hair from Jared’s face, to straighten out Jared’s out of control eyebrows, touch the nostrils that always seem to flare, usually one of the tells that Jared’s mocking him.

As soon as his fingers move and his hand is about to lift, Jared awakes, staring straight at Jensen. Jensen wants to drop his eyes, look away, but instead, his gaze falls from Jared’s eyes to Jared’s lips. Jared licks his lips and Jensen finds himself copying the action, unsure of the tension he’s feeling.

There’s a soft knock at Jared’s door and Jared’s already up and walking towards it, sparing a glance at Jensen’s form and a “stay quiet.”

Jensen hears a mousy voice offering Jared some papers they managed to retrieve and a growl and a mocking “how delightful,” coming from Jared.

Jared closes the door, papers in hand. He picks up ink, a pen and a hardcover book as he walks over to Jensen.

“I need to copy it,” Jared says in a strained voice. He sits on the other side of Jensen, and for a long time all Jensen hears, is the shuffling of papers and the scribbling of Jared’s pen.  
It seems like another few hours, before Jared’s finally finished and Jensen thinks some of his body parts have gone numb.

Jared leaves without a word, shutting the door to his chambers. He comes back a while later, with some linen in his hands.   
“I’ve ordered a bath for when you return to your chamber. There’s hot water arriving here in a minute.”  
Jensen nods dumbly.  
“I’ll clean your back before you go.”

Jared shuffles around, not looking at Jensen as he waits for the hot water. When it arrives, he sets it on his desk, dipping the rag in it.

“Come here, please,” Jared asks.  
Jensen drags his now heavy limbs across the room, the smell of ink dizzying him still.  
Jared takes him by the arm and turns him to face the desk as well.

“Hold the desk, Jensen.”  
Jensen can hear the dripping of water as Jared wrings the rag. There a surprisingly soft touch against his back as Jared starts wiping. Jensen gets lost once again in Jared’s rhythm, softly dabbing at his back, down to his sides, up again at his neck.

“Spread your arms,” Jared rumbles in his ear, closer than Jensen had expected.  
Jensen shivers as Jared steps closer against his back, gliding the linen down his bare arms.  
He watches as the blue water drips along his skin, sliding through his hairs.  
He feels Jared’s nose against his wet nape, nuzzling through it, down to the sensitive spot below his ear, hand skimming his ribs.   
Shiver after shiver goes through him, until Jared stops, drops the wet rag on the floor and grabs a dry rag, gently drying Jensen with it.

Jared lifts Jensen’s shirt and coat from the chair and brings them to where Jensen is still rooted, arms folded loosely. Jared’s eyes track down Jensen’s chest, his multi colored eyes, now a dark brown. Jensen looks down his body self consciously, noticing his tweaked nipples.  
He scrapes his throat as he reaches for his shirt, but Jared doesn’t hand it to him. Jared steps closer, holding the shirt out in front of him for Jensen to step in to.

Jensen’s decline is stuck in his throat and he once again chooses to remain silent and give into Jared. When Jensen has both arms inside the sleeves, Jared turns him around, starting to fasten the buttons from the bottom, slowly working his way up.   
Jensen watches as Jared’s long, ink stained fingers work the buttons with a steady hand, knowing that if he’ll look up, Jared will be looking at him. Jared doesn’t fasten the upper buttons, leaving open a wide v of his chest on display. Jensen does look at him then, noticing that Jared has the same glint in his eyes when he’s smirking, but his mouth is a steady line right now.  
Jared drops his gaze and Jensen follows it to Jared’s hands resting on his chest. It’s then that he feels the warmth of Jared’s palms bleed through his shirt. Jared moves his hands, his thumb grazing Jensen’s nipples, sending another small warm spark towards his center.  
Jared moves his thumb over Jensen’s nipples again, deliberately now and Jensen flinches slightly, the sensations a bit too much.  
  
“I believe your bath is ready by now.” Jared steps away, handing him his coat.

Jensen nods, swallowing past the thickness of his throat.  
“Yes. Fine. Good bye.”

Jensen doesn’t spare a backwards glance as he hurries down the hall, not worrying about any blue stains that might still show.  
There’s indeed a hot bath waiting for him in his chambers and he strips immediately to sink in to the blissfully heated water.  
He doesn’t think about the sensations of Jared writing on him, of Jared cleaning him or Jared dressing him.  
Instead he reads and rereads the line written down the inside of his arm, leading to his wrist. The one line Jared forgot to erase.  
 _“The sweetest downfall for mankind to experience, is that of lust turned to love.”_


	7. Sept + Epilogue

***

**Chapter Seven**

***

Jared has been at the Queens Garden Asylum for the Insane for a year now, perhaps even two. He hasn’t cared to mark the time.  
Abbé Jensen has been here for three months, two weeks and three days now. Jared knows this, because he’s been counting ever since the day abbé Jeffrey thrust into his mouth while discussing the arrival of a new abbé _“with lips so lush to rival yours.”_

It was the next day he came upon meeting this elusive abbé.   
Jared had at the time thought he could easily scare away the new abbé, make him cower into his senior’s robe. But nay, at their very first encounter, this abbé smiled at Jared’s crudeness. He continued smiling through Jared’s double entendre’s, innuendo and flirting speech. Jared soon discovered it was not the simplicity of his mind that put up with Jared, but it was his very disposition; accepting.

At moments where most people never ceased to fail Jared, abbé Jensen managed to surprise him.  
Jared was not just an inmate, he was not a sick mind having to be taught a lesson by having his dinner taken from him or his head dunked into cold water. Jared was a human being in need of a listening ear and a creative outlet. He was and not a mere animal. At least, that’s what the sweet abbé Jensen would tell him.  
It was at those words that Jared felt the need for the first time again: the itching need to put down his pen on paper, dip it in ink and let his fingers bathe in it.  
Jared was once more inspired to put together a book with the knowledge of it becoming his best so far. Yes, of that Jared was sure: the sweetest downfall of an innocent wide-eyed abbé.

Jared timed himself a week. A week to seduce abbé Jensen, make him perform whatever wickedness Jared had foreseen for his book. After all, the abbé’s were all Eve’s, waiting for that proverbial apple to bite into.  
Each day Jared would find an excuse for Jensen to come visit him, faking insecurity about his writing, luring the abbé into helping him.  
After the first three days the abbé included Jared in his daily routines, making it a point to visit Jared. He never backed away when Jared presented him with his lewd work, making mistakes on purpose so the abbé would pay attention and not just skim the pages. The abbé never missed a mistake, although he did always turn this lovely shade of red.  
  
After that, it was as if a dam was broken. Characters assaulted Jared at night, bleeding into the day. They presented themselves so clearly and so easily, wanting to satisfy a certain taste. Thus it began.  
He stopped letting the maids or guards enter his chambers, too busy writing stories for the abbé to read through to think about anything else.  
He didn’t stop letting abbé Jeffrey enter his chambers though, couldn’t do so if he wanted.  
Abbé Jeffrey was the sole reason Jared could have his pens, papers and his precious imported ink. That drunk was also the reason that Jared was not forced to join the inmates during the mandatory activities.  
All that aside, the man was a great kinky fuck. Jared would grip the hairy thighs of the abbé and pull and the abbé would keen harder. He would love it when Jared came on the hairs on his back, rubbing and spreading it through them.   
Jared gathered a new liking for the hairiness of a man and found many new creative uses for objects.  
The man’s taste wasn’t insatiable though, once or twice a month would be enough and Jared wouldn’t be bothered by anyone.

It changed with abbé Jeffrey’s teasing words concerning the fresh faced abbé, the things he wanted to do to him and how the new abbé would come crawling into his lap within time.  
It was not before long the ugly face of jealousy appeared, scratching at a possessive streak inside Jared he did not know he possessed (or cared to, for that matter).   
It was this ugly beast that accelerated Jared’s process of seducing Jensen. And it was Jared’s conduct that drove the abbé in to a mindset of delusion.   
Jared wanted to stop, deny it when abbé Jensen would present himself, but Jared was not a strong man.

Sweet long lashes would flutter up and down when Jared touched him. Plump rosy lips would part in a silent moan, flesh engorging when Jared would administer a certain twist. Not to mention, the sweetest smell when the abbé would finally spill.  
Jared was certainly not a strong man and the abbé somehow managed to stimulate this weakness.

Jared is a hedonist, through and through. When there is pleasure to be gained, Jared will do as much to get it. He’s a lust-driven mammal, as God intended them to be. But with the abbé, it seems lust has no meaning. No longer, that is. Jared feels as if he is on the verge of a breakdown. Which might not be something new, but just that he never suspected it would be by the hands of a rosy-cheeked, pious minion.

***

“Still writing stories for Jensen, Jared?” abbé Jeffrey asks as he slides his thick fingers through Jared’s hair, tightening his grip when Jared sucks harder.

  
Jared hates it when the abbé talks during their meetings, especially when it concerns abbé Jensen. Jared bobs his head faster up and down in reply, stroking the abbé’s cock in time.  
The abbé gurgles and pants, trying to keep from coming and holding on to Jared’s head.

“Christ, boy. Slow down.”  
Jared smiles as he keeps the tip in his mouth, lazily licking into the slit. The abbé rubs his thumbs over Jared’s cheekbones, sliding his hands through Jared’s hair and pulling Jared’s head back down onto his flesh.

“Your mouth is of much greater use this way, Jared,” the abbé pants.   
Jared pulls off and pushes the abbé face first against the wall, hand wrapped around his cock.

“I wish you would shut your mouth, old man.” Jared grins as he works his hand faster and faster, knowing the abbé wouldn’t last any longer.  
The abbé smiles before losing it again in the process of his orgasm. Jared hopes he comes quicker and leaves just as fast as he came. Thank God, the man does as much, spilling hot semen onto Jared’s hand.

The abbé turns around with a satisfied look on his face, reaching for Jared’s erection. When the abbé cups him however, they are both surprised to find nothing engorged there. For the first time in his entire life, Jared does not have an erection.

The abbé rubs him and Jared feels some tingles, but, alas nothing happens.  
Abbé Jeffrey gives him a look crossed between indignation and pity and it angers Jared.   
“I think you finally broke it, abbé,” he jokes instead, cupping himself with a mock sad face.

The abbé regards him a few moments longer before telling Jared he has a substance for his not so little problem and he will return with it some time later.  
Jared nods, rubbing himself on display for the abbé, telling him he’ll be right here waiting.  
Jared can guess the reason for this particular event, but he’s not one to acknowledge it.

***

It’s a few hours later that there’s knock on the door, the maid coming in with a tray of wine cups and a bottle of wine next to it.

“The abbé said to bring it here Sir and that he will be visiting you some time later and that in the mean time you should already start with the wine.”

Jared gets a feeling of suspicion but squashes it in favor of the wine. Jared’s never been one to turn down wine.  
Before Jared can pour himself some, there’s another knock on the door, revealing Jensen standing in his doorway. It’s been a few days since Jared last saw abbé Jensen, finding himself missing the abbé’s company something fierce. He looks pale and small, regarding Jared insecurely.

“Abbé,” Jared finds himself saying and doling out one his rare genuine smiles. He had not expected him this evening. “Please do come in.”  
Jensen gives him a timid smile in return and takes tentative steps forward.  
“Have you been exerting yourself, abbé? You look like you could use some rest.” Jared stays seated where he is right, on his bed, not wanting to spook the obviously frazzled abbé any further.

Jensen stands still near his desk, a few feet away from Jared.  
“I’m doing well, Jared. Thank you. I’ve been quite busy in fact.” The abbé tries to smile, but there’s a hint of guilt tainting it. “And how have you been?” abbé Jensen asks him, his eyes lingering on Jared’s mouth. Jared then realizes his lips might be looking quite incriminating. He smiles in return, guessing that the effect he’s having on Jensen is getting stronger with the minute. He finds sweet tingles shooting towards his cock already and nobody has been touching him even yet. Damn treacherous bastard.

“I’ve been peachy, abbé. Just ordered in some wine in fact.” Jared raises the bottle towards abbé Jensen. “Care to join me for a sip?”

The abbé looks like he wants to say yes but shakes his head. “I’d better not, Jared. Have to get going soon.”

Jared cocks his head, widens his eyes and slightly pouts. “I bet it’d do you good, abbé. You look positively ashen.”  
Jared watches with satisfaction as Jensen’s struggle fails. Jensen looks from Jared’s face to the bottle, back to Jared and steps forward.

“I guess it won’t do me any harm, now would it?” The abbé attempts a smile, while Jared pours the wine into their cups.  
Jensen takes a small sip from his cup and continues giving Jared timid smiles.  
“How’s your writing coming along Jared?” he asks, taking a bigger sip from his cup.

“It’s wonderful. You wouldn’t believe how much inspiration I gather just from my daily rigorous routine.” Jared rolls his eyes and it helps make Jensen’s smile wider.

“Have you written anything new?”

“You mean, apart from the story I started on your back?” Jared doesn’t believe in tiptoeing, not figuratively nor literally.  
Jared takes a big gulp from his cup as he watches color rise high on Jensen’s pale cheeks. His body is constantly sending tiny pleasure sparks towards his groin and he isn’t sure how much longer he will be able to contain himself.

Jensen clears his throat. “Yes, exactly.”

“Well, I’ve written a few since then. Some short stories, the usual.”

Jensen takes another sip from his cup and licks his lips. He looks remotely flushed.  
“You want me to read through some of it?”

Jared’s not sure what’s gotten into the abbé, but he’s not the one who’s going to stop any of this.  
“Of course, abbé.”

Jared takes another sip of wine before setting it down and standing up to leave and get his latest work for Jensen. However, when he stands up, he feels slightly lightheaded but that’s not new considering the effects of wine.

He fetches some papers and hands them to the abbé, before sitting opposite him on the bed.   
The abbé accepts them and sets down his wine, immediately starting in on the story before him.  He squirms in his chair every now and then, to Jared’s great amuse, but then finally huffs and stands up, swaying a bit on his feet before walking towards Jared and plopping down on the bed ungracefully. “Better,” he sighs, picking up where he left off his reading.

Jared is highly aware of abbé Jensen’s proximity, feeling heat flooding through him, blood rushing to certain places. He watches through heavy lidded eyes as Jensen’s hand rests on his groin, adjusting himself it seems. The abbé looks flushed all over, eyes slightly glazed over as if in lust.

Jared watches as the abbé licks his lips, hand pressing against his groin, slightly rubbing. Jared has never seen the abbé react this strongly to any of his stories like this before. He wants to cock up in pride, but even he knows the story is not all that special.   
  
The softest sound escapes the abbé’s lips then, sounding faintly like, _“Jared.”  
_ That does it in. Jared’s restraint snaps and he leans forward, pressing his body along the abbé’s as he captures those sweet wine stained lips.

The abbé moans into his mouth, kissing him back frantically, as if he’s been starving for it. The usually so quiet abbé is now moaning, gasping and groaning when Jared rubs him through his trousers, licks in to his mouth. His hands slide in to his hair, hanging tightly onto the strands, on the verge of pain as he tongues Jared’s lips, explores his mouth further than he’s ever before.  
Jared’s dizzy with the feelings, not understanding how wild and willing the abbé is. Jared’s just glad he’s no longer broken, already realizing that it has always been the abbé causing whatever defectiveness Jared has experienced these past weeks, even months.

He keeps breathing Jared’s name, begging Jared to touch him, begging to touch Jared. It’s like Jared’s dream has come true, all the hard work, all the patience finally being repaid.  
Jared lets the abbé fumble with the buttons of his shirt, lets him rip it open when he gets frustrated. He helps abbé Jensen unfasten his own pants before starting on Jared’s. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there is a hint of doubt, that this isn’t the way he expected it all to actually happen, but doubt has never stopped Jared before.  
  
When Jared ducks to taste the abbé’s fully engorged cock, the abbé stops him, asking Jared to kiss him. Jared doesn’t ponder, just goes with whatever Jensen commands him to.  
He plunders Jensen’s mouth, swallowing his honeyed sounds, licking every residue left from the wine until he can taste him again.  
The abbé’s hands wander along Jared’s body, skimming every available surface until he finally settles on stroking Jared’s cock.  
Jared enjoys the sensation for a few moments before rolling on top of the abbé, rubbing himself against abbé Jensen’s cock, letting their cocks slide together while their tongues meet again. Abbé Jensen’s hands land on Jared’s buttocks, pinching and kneading the flesh.

“More,” he breathes, biting Jared’s jaw. “More, Jared.”

Jared stops for a moment to gaze in to the abbé’s wild, glazed eyes, seeing nothing but unadulterated lust.  
Jared answers by biting his chin, biting down the delicate flesh of his neck, sucking on his Adam’s Apple, breathing out a ragged, “yes, anything.”

The abbé widens his legs, enclosing them over Jared’s, rutting uncontrollably.  
“Come on,” he pants. “Please.”

Jared pinches his eyes closed, not able to believe this is happening, how much control abbé Jensen’s taking. In his haze, he considers the oil he keeps in his drawer and tries to pry the abbé’s legs off of him.

“Sweet abbé,” he breathes. “I’m gonna open you up.” The words come out strangled and breathy but the abbé’s hold loosens anyway.  
As soon as Jared’s off of him, the abbé strokes himself like there’s no one else in the room, like he’s dying for it and Jared realizes that this is the first time he has seen him touch himself.   
  
Jared wastes no time and returns as fast as possible, pushing the abbé’s legs apart. His dark hole is helplessly flexing already and opens up easily when Jared slides the first finger in. The abbé’s loose already, bearing down on Jared’s fingers like they’ve been missing and moaning louly as he spreads his legs further apart.   
Jared widens his fingers and knows Jensen’s ready enough to take all of him. He slicks himself up, relishing the feel of his own touch.  
The abbé’s hips move restlessly, seeking friction and Jared knows what he’s going through. He feels the same way.

Jared bends over, almost bending the abbé in half along with him, but it makes the entering easier. He holds himself, guiding his cock in to abbé Jensen’s welcoming heat.  
Jared pants harshly as he finally gets to sink into his Jensen. His sweet abbé takes it all, takes it extremely well and moans loudly, thrashing his head from side to side, asking for more.

Jared can hear himself faintly spilling “ _holyjesusmaryjosephmarymagdelena”_ like a mantra. Jared is certain he’s not in his own body. He feels elevated, up high somewhere floating through the air, fondling himself as he looks down on his body writhing on top of the young abbé.  
They look like two animals, rutting in heat, free of all morale. Jared laughs and laughs, excited and giddy, finally able to submit to his madness.

The abbé has his ankles hooked around Jared’s hips, meeting his every thrust. Beads of sweat are pouring down their bodies as they move in synchronization. Jared thinks this is the most beautiful sight he has ever seen. Tears mingle with sweat, dropping on to Jensen’s face. Jensen smiles, happy and carefree, licking up the drops.

“Pray for me,” Jared hears himself beg. “Pray for me sweet abbé. Don’t let me be damned.”  
Again, in the distance he laughs at his own idiocy. Of course, only in the throes of delightful fornication, Jared would say such folly.

“Yes!” Jensen mouths, but he might as well have been screaming in Jared’s ear.

“Pater noster, qui es in caelis,” Jensen breathes in to Jared’s shoulder, biting into the skin when Jared practically lifts him off the bed.

“Sanctificetur Nomen Tuum-” Jensen’s eyes have darkened entirely, appearing as an outer world creature. “-adveniat Regnum Tuum”

Jensen shift his weight forward, forcing Jared down on his back, gaining complete control as he takes Jared deeper, riding him for all he’s worth.  
“fiat voluntas Tua-” The words come out half choked and it turns Jared on even more. This is how the words should have been spoken to Jared years ago. He might have actually listened then, perhaps. 

“sicut in caelo, et in terra-” The abbé starts grunting, making animalistic sounds. He bends forward lifting himself off Jared’s cock, to slam back down again. “Panem nostrum-- cotidianum da nobis hodie”

Jared wonders why he isn’t touching Jensen, why his arms are just lying there next to him. He realizes this the same time he realizes that his eyes had been closed the entire time.  
When he opens his eyes, the sight of Jensen, the _abbé_ , riding him passionately hits him hard. He’s the most wonderful sight to be experienced: his entire body is flushed with excertion, sweat has darkened his hair, all his muscles pulled taut.

“et dimitte nobis debita nostra-”   
The abbé growls when Jared lifts his arms to touch him.    
“Sicut et nos—“

He grabs Jared’s arms with surprising strength, holding his wrists with just one hand, fixing Jared with a glare.   
“dimittimus debitoribus nostris”

Jensen glides forward, holding Jared’s hands bound above Jared’s head, rolling his hips torturously slow, squeezing his walls around Jared’s length.  
“And lead us not into temptation.”

Jensen closes his eyes in sheer bliss, as Jared picks up the thrusting. “But deliver ---“ The last line is lost in Jensen’s throat when Jared seems to drive against his spot with every thrust now.  
Jensen clenches around him, trying to rip the orgasm from Jared as it seems.

Waves of delightful shudders carry through his body, but he isn’t releasing. He’s still fully hard, feeling his balls drawn up tight. Above him Jensen is shuddering too, but he’s still fully engorged and leaking.   
Jensen’s mouth hovers above Jared’s. “Amen,” Jared breathes, before their mouths connect.  
The need to release has lessened considerably and Jared’s slows his thrusts, just slipping languidly in and out of Jensen’s gripping walls.

They lay like that for what seems and eternity. Jared has never felt so clean or clear in his entire life. For once, there aren’t any characters plaguing his mind. He can simply lay here, content.  
Their erections aren’t wilting, but neither of them feels the burning need any longer. They keep lying there, fully connected until sleep and exhaustion take over.

When Jared awakes, the abbé is no longer there. Instead, there’s abbé Jeffrey sitting in the chair with an amused, twisted look on his face.

“I see you weren’t broken after all Jared,” the abbé speaks. Jared sits up, trying to go for nonchalance but his head is foggy and he finds it difficult to focus immediately. When he does, he sees the abbé is fully erect. Jared feels nausea battling to the surface, but suppresses the feeling.

“It seems so after all, abbé.” Jared smirks. “Could have forgone with a warning along with that wine though.”

“Well, I guess it worked out for the best this way did it not?” Abbé Jeffrey says with a wink. He stands up from his position across the room and walks towards Jared.   
“Let’s see if this magic potion can still work its wonders.”

Jared’s body can’t seem to produce any arousal, instead it nauseates Jared more. He tries to cover himself up, but the abbé is already there, gripping Jared’s wrist.

“You aren’t tired are you, Jared? You’ve just awoken.” The abbé’s smile is predatory and for the first time since a very long time, Jared feels an inkling of powerlessness.  
“Although I guess fucking a virginal ass for hours straight can tire a man out.”

The abbé must’ve seen something shift in Jared’s eyes. “Oh don’t worry about Jensen. He scurried away as soon as he found himself impaled on you.”  
The abbé thumbs at Jared’s mouth, his erection pressed close against Jared’s shoulder.   
  
Jared, on the one hand wants to regorge at the thought of touching the abbé right now. On the other hand, he really wants the abbé to sod off. He turns his face into the abbé’s groin, breathing hot air onto the erect fabric.  
The abbé groans in return, gripping Jared’s hair tightly.

“Such a whore, Padalecki.”

Jared mouths at the damp spot, fingers working on the robe.

“Like your good little pious friend,” the abbé continues.

Jared wastes no time and brings the abbé’s thick cock out, sucking at the tip. “What a mouth on him, too. Not as vile as yours though.”

The abbé refuses to shut his mouth, trying to get a rise out of Jared. He’s worse than ever and Jared knows it’s because he has seen abbé Jensen and him together, saw that Jared took what he had not been able to. Jared starts sucking harder, hand fondling the abbé’s balls, pulling on the hairs on his thighs.

“He’s so loose right now, Jared,” the abbé rumbles, hand still holding a vice-like grip on Jared’s hair. Jared sucks harder, bordering on painful. Not so much bordering any longer when the abbé yanks his head back.

“He’d let me fuck him.”

The abbé stares in to Jared’s eyes, before driving his cock back in to Jared’s mouth. Jared sucks in as much as he can, but the abbé just keeps pushing further in. “He’d let me do anything to him, knowing his job would be at stake.”

Jared swallows around the abbé’s length, trying to control his body, not backing away.  
  
“No.”

The abbé pulls back, just a little, easing the pressure off of Jared’s throat. “He’d let me do anything as long as the inmates weren’t at stake.”

Jared scrapes his teeth along the abbé’s length, but the abbé doesn’t seem to mind, too lost in his rant about defiling abbé Jensen.  
“Dumb wit would let everybody fuck him as long as he believes it’s for the greater good.”

Jared’s hand on the abbé’s balls tighten a bit, but again the abbé doesn’t seem to notice.  
“You should’ve seen the state he was in, Jared.”

Jared squeezes a bit.

“He would lie down and spread his legs open like a good whore as long as I would tell him that my seed has the holy powers to cure him.”

Jared tightens his jaw on the abbé’s cock, squeezes the balls harder. The abbé’s most positively rips out some of Jared’s hair in his haste to get Jared off his cock.  
Jared knows this about men: have them by the balls and you can do anything you want.  
He eases his mouth of the abbé’s cock, but keeps the delicate balls in his grip.

“Dear abbé, I believe there’s a misunderstanding here,” Jared mocks.

“Good God you raging lunatic, let go of me!” The abbé pushes idly at him, hands flailing trying to nurse his balls. The pain must make him dizzy about now.

“You never breathe a word of anything to anyone, you hear me, Your Holiness?” Jared tugs a little on the balls and watches as tears fall from the abbé’s eyes. “Not even to your precious God. Do we have an understanding?”  
Jared eases his grip a little and the abbé stumbles back a little, trying to reach his balls again.

“You son of a whore, bastard child. I will make sure your precious toy will get what he deserves and you-“

Jared smiles as he approaches the abbé.  
He doesn’t remember much except for screams and redness and utter calmness.

***

Jensen rushes towards the sound of shouting and hysterical screams. The maids, guards and inmates have all gathered in the southwest hall. When Jensen pushes his way through, he sees Jared being tied up and dragged away, naked as the day he was born except for the red covering him all over.

Jared smiles at him, secret gleam in his eye as he lets himself be taken away. Jared’s crimson covered smile loosens something in him, but sickens him to his core as well. He doesn’t know what to expect when he will step into Jared’s chambers, but he knows that this will be the end of Jared and him.

In the room lies abbé Jeffrey, his robe covered in blood, trousers pooled around his ankles.  
Jensen can guess what happened in this room. He can guess from the weak moans coming from the abbé, trying to cover himself, but hurting himself in the process.  
Jensen knows the abbé could die from this, bleed out unless someone sows the missing part back on.

Jensen orders hot water, fresh linen and a sewing kit, eyes on the abbé the entire time.  
A strange feeling of arousal washes over him as he sets to work on the abbé’s penis. Watching the way he loses consciousness every time he comes to again just to see Jensen working on him. He thinks he knows what Jared did, and why, and his chest expands. He has to take a giant breath because he feels euphoric, loved. For the first time in a long time he feels as if his Father has finally accepted him.

They’re keeping Jared in the cellar, tied up like some kind of animal. He lies there shivering in the vile mess previous inmates left.   
Jensen twists his rosary between his thumb and forefinger, waiting for the guards to leave them alone. He sends each and one of them a sympathetic smile, letting them know he’s going to save this lost soul.

“Jared,” He says, stepping forward between Jared’s legs. He turns Jared’s face towards him. Jared’s face is still caked with the abbé’s blood, eyes hollow as he regards Jensen. He’s still beautiful and glowing.

He kneels before Jared, cradling his head between his hands. Eyes fixed on Jared, Jensen starts reciting the prayer he’s said a thousand times. This time however, it has a whole new meaning.

“In nomine Patris et fillii et Spiritus Sancti,”

  
He kisses Jared’s cheeks and his forehead, drawing a cross across his own chest.

“Amen.”

Jensen kisses Jared, mouths fusing together like they were once cut from the same marble. Jensen tastes Jared’s stale mouth, the abbé’s lost blood and freedom. Jensen pulls away, smiling widely at Jared, until Jared responds with his own smile.   
Jared looks at him as if he’s lost his mind, as if he should be the one tied down here instead of him.  
Jensen agrees.

***

_Epilogue_

***

_There’s a new up and rising author with material to rival Padalecki’s earlier work. De Sade as he calls himself has the same dark and wicked themes we have all familiarized ourselves with, but with a lighter tone: opting to choose for something that can be perceived as a love story, ridiculing the masses and playing parodies instead. It is this that makes us doubt and laugh at ourselves for thinking that perhaps De Sade is Padalecki’s new pseudonym. None would believe Padalecki to ever write a love story._

_There hasn’t been any word on Padalecki ever since his last book.  
It’s been rumored he fled the premises of the Asylum, with elaborate help from other inmates and friends in higher places. A perhaps deliberately set fire eased his way out. But none is willing to confirm either suspicion._

_We remember Padalecki shocking us with his innovative stories in his early years. He didn’t stop his stories even though they ended him in an asylum for the insane. It had been surprisingly quiet from Padalecki for a while though. People finally thought that perhaps the asylum succeeded in curing Padalecki’s twisted mind. But after months of silence Padalecki returned and published his most celebrated, dark and vile work. After that, it seems he simply disappeared, vanished without a trace._

_It has not been until recently that it’s discovered that there was not just one author to Padalecki greatest work. It is whispered amongst the people that it was a man of God, perhaps even the subject of the book, who had written the latter chapters: even sicker words containing the defiling of another holy man. One does wonder whether there is any truth to be found in Padalecki’s stories. There’s a clear parallel resemblance to be drawn to our very own Queens Garden Asylum, buoyantly named Charenton. There have been whispers that there was in fact an incident at the Queens Garden Asylum, driving an abbé nearly mad. The Asylum refuses to acknowledge any of this, claiming Padalecki was merely grasping at things familiar to him._

_Nobody knows what happened, one can only guess._

_Fin_


End file.
